Wanted
by Philately-fun
Summary: Carby. If you like Luka then I'm sorry. :) PS. this isn't false advertising! Stick with it!
1. Wanted Chapter 1

Heh, so this is my first attempt at an ER fanfic. Huh.

Disclaimer : I do not own these characters, they are not mine though I love them dearly. (Apart from Rose, who is my own, based on a friend…)

**********************************

Carter strode briskly into the ER. 

"Good morning Carter…" Weaver barely glanced at him, but her tone was pleasant. As pleasant as Kerry Weaver could be, that is. 

The shorter doctor was Carter's senior, and had been long enough for Carter to become accustomed to her cool manner, even understand it. She had short, coppery, almost red hair, and walked with a crutch. 

No-one - not even Carter - knew why, because no-one had ever asked her. They just accepted it, mainly because she could be so fearsome. Most of the staff at county had had a run in with her at some point, and she had quite a reputation for being ruthless, but this was part of the reason that Carter liked her. 

Carter raised a hand in greeting and entered the small but cosy doctor's lounge. Susan Lewis sat cradling a lukewarm cup of coffee at the empty table. 

"Hey Carter." Susan sounded tired. 

"Hey Susan, what's up?"

Susan was a colleague, and a friend. Her blonde hair, usually straight and pulled back into a pony tail, hung around her cheeks in waves and curls. Her eyes, usually dancing, were dull, and her face was pale.

"Two GSW's and One RTA. I'm exhausted." It was an understatement. 

"Just another busy night in the ER" Carter's enthusiasm made Susan wince. Damn him! She watched him turn on his heels and return to the admin desk.

Carter picked up his charts and began to leaf through them. Deciding to start on the little boy with chronic stomach pain, he walked in the direction of exam four. Too late.

"Carter! Bridge collapse, three major traumas on way. ETA Five minutes."

As he stood out in the ambulance bay, waiting for the traumas, his life changed forever.

He felt someone crash into his arm. Loosing his balance momentarily, he sought to steady himself. He looked around for his mystery assailant.

"Down here…" 

She was petite; her wavy dark hair fell about her shoulders. Dressed in scrubs, Carter assumed she was a new Intern. Her soft brown eyes gave away her nerves, and sent a shiver down Carter's spine.

"First day?" Carter offered her his hand to help her up. She took it gratefully. Remembering his time as an Intern, Carter mentally cringed at his mistakes. Jeez. On his first day he was so nervous he tripped and fell, sending a tray of instruments crashing to the floor. The ER was silent as he knelt to pick them up. 

She returned to her feet, embarrassed, and attempted to bring Carter back to the real world. 

"Yeah. Abby Lockhart…" She offered her name, and noticing that they were still holding hands, she attempted to disguise this fact by shaking it vigorously. He replied "John Carter" and appeared not to notice his hands.

"Can you tell me where the chief of staff is? I'm meant to start at -" Abby glanced at her watch "- Five minutes ago"

"Through the door, ask for Kerry Weaver"

"Thanks" She whirled around and headed for the big double doors.

"Abby -" Carter called after her, but she was gone. He was going to warn her about Weaver's temper. "Be nice, Kerry" He said, to no-one in particular.

**********************************

Abby decided that Weaver was someone to steer clear of. No, she thought. Make that avoid at all costs. Bitch. She insisted that she had no knowledge of Abby's transfer, and then, after checking her records and finding out that actually Abby was right, she gave her the homeless man in exam two with fleas, and the woman in five with a chronic stomach bug. 

Vomit wasn't a good look, Abby mused, as she cleaned herself up in the ladies. "Eugh" She gagged. Being a nurse wasn't all it was cracked up to be. 

**********************************

What a shift! Carter slumped into the lounge's worn couch. Clasping the coffee cup, he took a long drink. After treating the traumas from the bridge collapse, Carter returned to his rounds. He had the boy with stomach pain, a broken hip, a heart attack, and a little girl who had swallowed a dime. And then there was that Intern who crashed into him that morning. For some reason, he couldn't shake her eyes from his mind. 

"…Carter?"

Carter nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Hey Mark!" 

"Girl troubles?" Mark grinned mischievously and headed for his locker.

"…Mark, do you know her?" Carter caught a glimpse of Abby through the windows and pointed her out to the chief resident.

"Um, yeah, she's the new nurse. Abby-something…"

"Lockhart" Carter answered quickly, without thinking. "She's a nurse? I thought…"

"She was an intern?"

"…yeah"

"Its ok, Doctors are allowed to date nurses" Mark gave Carter a sly wink and a smile.

Carter looked at him with surprise "I never said anything about dating her…"

Mark gave him a knowing look and walked out.

**********************************

"How did you do this?" Luka Kovac gently examined the deep cut in his patient's hand. 

"I fell on some glass. My son broke a window and I tripped"

"Ok, well, I can't see any glass in the cut, but you will need to get some stitches. I'll call a nurse to do that for you, and then you can go home."

"Thank you, Doc."

Luka stuck his head out around the curtain.

"Excuse me…"

"Yeah?" Abby turned around and looked at him.

"You're new, aren't you?"

"First day today"

He looked her up and down. His eyes settled on her face, and he smiled.

Abby blushed.

"Dr Luka Kovac" He offered his hand, and she took it.

"Abby Lockhart"

"Abby, Mr Anderson has a laceration that needs some sutures. Could you take a look?"

"Sure, give me a minute."

"Thanks"

The tall Croatian smiled again, and moved onto his next patient, Abby's blush still playing on his mind. 

**********************************

What a day. Abby twisted the key in the door of her apartment, and pushed it open. The front room was still cluttered with boxes, though she'd lived there nearly three weeks. Throwing her keys on the small table beside the door, she walked into the kitchen to make herself some coffee. 

Settling into a large, comfy arm chair, she curled her feet beneath her and took a long sip. That's better, she thought. 

She felt such an idiot. She'd made so many mistakes that day; she thought she was going to get fired. The most embarrassing though, by far, was the collision she had with the doctor in the ambulance bay. She felt her cheeks burn just thinking about it. She liked him though. "Wish he'd warned me about Weaver…" Abby chuckled to herself.

But with Luka though, she blushed for a different reason. He was… She couldn't put her finger on it. Maybe it was his smile… Yes, she thought. That smile. Abby began to giggle, and then remembered something. Last time she felt like this, it was for Richard. She understood now. She understood how he had hurt her so much. It was because she loved him. She recalled all the things he did to her, the things she let him do. He beat her. He drove her to drink. 

She sat, lost in thought, barely noticing the glassy beads rolling down her face. 

That seemed like forever ago. 

Some time later, wiping her eyes, Abby stood up. She glanced at the clock, and, seeing that it was late, headed for bed. 

**********************************

It seemed like she'd been there forever, she fitted in so perfectly.

 In fact it had only been a few weeks. Luka watched the petite nurse from the doctor's lounge window. She was chatting to Carter. 

He felt a wave of jealousy cloud his vision. He shook his head vigorously, and told himself not to be so stupid. There was nothing between them, he knew. 

Maybe he would go and ask her to go for a drink with him. 

No, that just made him sound stupid. What about a meal? Was a meal good for a first date? 

He was so bemused by American customs he settled on a good old fashioned movie. 

He began to rehearse what he would say to her. "Hey Abby-" No, No. He paused, and began to pace the Lounge. "Abby, Hi, Would you like to go to a movie?" No, that wasn't right either.

 "Yo, Abby!" 

No, no, no. Was he insane? He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice Susan walk in and stand behind him. A look of bemusement crossed her face.

"Abby, what are you doing Friday night? – no, no, too American" Luka smacked his hand to his head. "Oh, what am I going to do?"

"… You could try having a conversation with her first…"

Luka spun around and Susan laughed. 

"The look on your face! Didn't mean to make you jump. What exactly were you doing?" Susan smirked, and tried to control her laughter. Luka reluctantly explained.

"That's sweet! I knew you liked her, but -"  

"- You knew? How did you know?" Luka could feel his ears pinking.

"Oh, come on Luka, the whole ER knows you like her!"

"What?!?"

"Well, it's so obvious! Would you like my advice?"

Luka felt that whatever he said, he was going to get it, so he nodded.

"Coffee?" Susan was at the machine before he answered.  

"Please…" Luka sat at the table, and put his head in his hands.

In moments, Susan had placed a small polystyrene cup in front of him and a friendly, comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Tell her how you feel. Ask her to go for coffee after work."

Luka smiled "I never thought of that"

"And one more thing…"

"Yeah?"

"Steer clear of 'Yo'. It might work if you were Will Smith, and she was your 'Homie' but you? No. Just- No."

"You heard that?" He stared into his coffee.

"All of it…" Susan grinned, and then started to laugh. "Yo?!?"

Luka couldn't help himself, and began to laugh with her.

**********************************

Abby was getting some benzocaine from the drug storeroom when he next saw her. In the tiny space they were forced together. She could feel electricity in the air. 

"Uh, Abby-"

"Yeah?" She looked up at him and smiled. He returned her gaze, but his eyes were full of torment. Her smile faded. "What is it?"

"I was wondering - if maybe you'd like to – I mean it's ok if you don't–" He looked at his feet. "- Would you come out for coffee with me?"

"I'd like that" She could barely hide her excitement.

Luka looked pleasantly surprised. "You would?"

"How about tonight? I get off at six."

"Yeah – I mean, that'll be great"

"So I'll see you then, yeah?" She ran her hand through her hair, pulling it off her face. Luka saw how beautiful she was. 

"Sure."

Abby signed off the benzocaine, and almost skipped from the storeroom. 

When she was out of earshot she let out a little whoop of delight, and almost crashed into Carter - again. "We've got to stop meeting like this" He grinned. "What's up?"

Abby suddenly felt very awkward. 

She almost thanked Weaver when she interrupted.

"Carter, Abby, I need you. Young boy, hit by a bus, ETA two minutes."

Carter and Abby donned the yellow scrub aprons and arrived in the ambulance bay just in time to see the ambulance appear around the corner.

**********************************

Luka and Abby met outside the lounge.

"Hey. Ready?" Luka smiled expectantly.

"Yeah." Abby beamed, and pulled on his arm. "Come on" He looked puzzled, and laughed as she almost dragged him out of the ER. 

Abby wasn't sure why she was so eager to leave the ER. It made her uneasy to think that she might not want to be seen with Luka. There was something at the back of her mind that she couldn't quite reach, but she knew that it had something to do with their quick exit. 

Walking along the street, with moist clouds of steam coming from their mouths and coffee warming their hands, Abby almost forgot about it. "So, how come you came to America?" Abby was curious. She knew little of Luka's past, but was certainly unprepared for what came next. She took a long gulp of her coffee and threw the cup away.

"When I lived in Croatia, my wife and I were very happy."

"Wife?"  Abby had no idea Luka was married "You're married? What are you playing at?" She was confused. And angry.

"Calm down. Let me finish."

Abby relaxed a little, but realised luka was patronising her. God, she needed a cigarette.

 "I was married." Luka saw the anger fade from Abby's features.

 "She died."

 Abby placed her hand on his cheek, and brushed it gently with her thumb. His glazed eyes fell upon her soft features, and he placed his hand upon hers.

"What happened?" She spoke softly, her eyes searching his.

Luka stared up at the sky, then down to the floor. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, then back again. Should he tell her? Would she believe him?

"It's ok, if you don't want to talk about it. If it's too hard"

"Thank you." He pulled her close and held her.

They stood in silence for what seemed like ages, their arms entwined.

**********************************

Breaking her grip, Abby looked at her watch. "It's getting late. Do you want to walk me home?" 

Luka smiled that smile and took her hand.

They began to walk towards Abby's apartment. Their slow steps echoed on the quiet street.

Staring at the ground, Abby asked the inevitable question.

 "Do you miss her?"

 "Every day."

Luka told the truth. 

They reached Abby's apartment almost in silence. 

"This is me. Goodnight"

He leant in close, and she tilted her head. He kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight Abby"

She turned to her door, and disappointment flitted across her face.

**********************************

Luka flicked his eyes over his clipboards. His mind was elsewhere. He slouched back into the desk chair and sighed. He and Abby had been dating for a month. Her toothbrush had taken up residence in his bathroom. He had a change of clothes in her drawers. They were a couple. He was happy. 

Or so he thought. 

"Hi, I'm looking for Dr Weaver… Do you know where I can find her?"

Luka looked up from his charts, into the cool green eyes of a stranger. Suddenly he forgot what he was doing, where he was, what he was thinking about. 

"Um…yeah…no…um…" He shook his head, trying to re-arrange his thoughts into some kind of order. Right. 

"She isn't here at the moment. She's on a break"

"Oh, right. Is it ok if I hang around?" She smiled, showing a row of pearly white teeth. 

"Sure" Standing, Luka motioned to the waiting area. 

"So, you a friend of hers?" He smiled, and not just because of the thought of Weaver having friends.

"I'm hoping to work here." This job wasn't going to be half bad, she thought. "Rose McKenzie" Her Scottish accent finally struck him. Leaning on the Admin Desk, She held out her hand. He took it.

 "Luka Kovac" He replied, without taking his eyes from hers. "Are you new in America?"

"Been here a year."

Just then, Abby came up and stood by his side. She started to say something to luka but noticed the tall blonde standing with him.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" she tried to make her tone seem polite, but feared she'd failed. 

"Abby, this is Rose. She's hoping to work here." Luka appeared not to notice.

"Hey, Abby" Rose offered her hand, and Abby reluctantly took it. 

"So, are you a nurse?"

Ouch, Abby thought. She liked being a nurse. Or that's what she told herself. 

"Yeah, and unlike you doctors, apparently, I have things to do. So, if you'll excuse me…" With that, she stormed off.

Rose leaned closer to Luka and whispered "I don't think she likes me…"

"Nonsense. She's just tired. I have to see some patients now. Would you like me to page Weaver for you?"

"No, it's ok. Do you mind if I tag along with you? I could use a good look around before I start."

"Sure" 

They walked off smiling and chatting and Luka didn't notice as Abby passed him in the hall.

**********************************

Who was she? An old flame? A new one? 

Abby drove herself crazy all day thinking about the new girl.

"What are you doing?" Carter's eyes widened as Abby filled the syringe with a clear liquid.

"You said twenty mills of Adrenaline…"

"No, Abby, I said twenty mills of heparin."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry." Abby almost dropped the syringe. She was really off her game.

"Go, take a break, you look exhausted. I'll finish here"

She looked up at him with tired eyes. "Thanks, Carter" She dropped the syringe and bottle into the bin and turned and walked away.

**********************************

It was killing him, Abby and Luka being together. 

He finished up with the patient, and went to get some lunch. He reached the cafeteria and realised that he wasn't that hungry. He got a coffee and sat at one of the rickety plastic tables, lost in thought. It wasn't as if he didn't like Luka. Well, he didn't dislike him. 

And they were happy. 

A thought crossed his mind. 

Or were they? Was Abby just exhausted? Had they had a fight? Carter couldn't help but wish they had.

 "Bad Carter" he said aloud, and then looked furtively around to see if anyone had heard him.

**********************************

Abby wandered into the ladies, and leant on the sink. Catching her reflection in the mirror she winced. She did look exhausted. Splashing water onto her face in an attempt to make her more awake, she made a decision.

 She dried her face and went to find Luka. She wanted to know who Rose was. She saw Luka entering the Lounge and followed him inside, closing the door behind her.

"…Luka…"

"Oh, Hi Abby"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure"

Abby paused. What was she doing? Luka was her boyfriend! She was just being stupid. There was nothing going on. Luka was with her. It was none of her business if Luka had female friends. She chose to let it go.

"Actually, you know what? It doesn't matter."

Luka looked puzzled, but nodded.

"…Ok. See you later then?"

"Yeah." Abby turned and walked out.

Luka watched her go. What was all that about? 

**********************************

Rose picked up her charts from the rack and flicked through them. 

She'd been here a week now. Weaver was only too happy to have her in the ER, understaffed as they were. It was certainly hectic here, she thought, as Abby pushed past her to use the phone. 

Eyeing the nurse warily, she moved off to her first patient of the shift.

As she walked across reception, she caught Luka watching her from the lounge window. Giving a tiny flirtatious wave and flashing a sweet smile his way, she strode to exam three. 

**********************************

Carter dumped his charts back into the rack with a sigh. Seeing Abby, he thought how much happier she looked. It was a week, surely, since the incident with the heparin, and she was smiling again. Must've been something to do with all the attention Luka was giving the new girl. If he'd noticed it, surely she had. 

"You off, Carter?" Abby saw him watching her. She could make out the tiredness etched onto his kind face.

He smiled at her, nodding.

"Was supposed to get off two hours ago. This place is bedlam. When'd you finish?" Abby checked her watch. "Now. Just gotta to do this, then I'm outta here. Thank god I'm not in tomorrow."

"Want to grab some dinner?" Carter couldn't stop himself.

"Um, actually, I'm going to dinner with Luka" Abby felt guilty for turning Carter down. Or was it regret? A small frown brushed her features, but she hid it well.

Carter kicked himself. "Some other time then…" 

Of course she would be having breakfast with Luka. They were still together, he knew, and he hated it. 

Abby hung up the phone and walked the short walk to the lounge to get her coat. The blinds were shut. That was odd. The blinds were seldom shut. Maybe someone was taking a nap, Abby deduced.

 Careful to be quiet in case she woke whoever was sleeping, Abby pushed open the door. The fluorescent light of the hall reached into the lounge, casting harsh yellow beams onto the lockers. Abby threw her eyes around the scene and froze, rooted to the spot. 

Unsure of what to do, she just stood in the doorway, bewildered and broken hearted.


	2. Wanted Chapter 2

**********************************

Standing together, Luka and Rose didn't notice Abby at first. They were too involved in each other. Luka's hands were at Rose's waist, Hers on Luka's back. Their lips... Abby winced.

Standing there, Abby franticly tried to decide what to do. Part of her wanted to run and hide. Another part made her clench her fists. She let the door swing and thump behind her. Luka and Rose jumped apart as if they had been shot, and Luka was the first to notice Abby.

"Oh my… Abby -" Luka started to walk towards her. "- Its not what it looks like, I was just-"

"What?!? Luka? What? She had something in her eye? Just because I'm a nurse doesn't make me brainless! You son of a bitch!"

Rose was perplexed. She'd finally met someone she liked, and who liked her. Then this nurse…

"Hey, now wait a minute!" Rose interjected, fuming now. "We aren't doing anything wrong-"

"Oh yeah?" Abby was screaming now, trying to counter the tears forming in her eyes. "Luka and I -" Unable to finish that sentence, Abby stopped. She was beaten. He hadn't even told the girl that he wasn't single! 

Feeling like she'd been punched, wholly overcome and reeling, she followed her instincts to run and hide. Whirling around, she wrenched at the door and sped through, and kept running till the cool night air hit her like a subway train.

**********************************

Thank god for that! 

Stepping through the glass doors into the ambulance bay, Carter revelled in the misty night air. He breathed it in, enveloping himself inside the night, trying to leave one hell of a day behind him. 

Hearing eccentric, frantic footsteps behind him, he spun around. 

Just in time, he found, to catch a mess of dark hair and tears. 

Setting her back on her feet and with one hand on her to steady her shaking form, he swept the hair from her face with his refined fingers.

"…Abby?" Tracing the tearstains with his bewildered eyes, he wanted to pull her close, to comfort her, protect her, but he couldn't shake that she wasn't his to protect. 

"…you want me to find Luka?" Carter instantly knew that he had said the wrong thing.

She began to shake uncontrollably with emotion, and almost collapsed at his feet. Carter could fight himself no longer. Seeing the girl he treasured in such distress was devastating him. Thankful for his quick reactions, He scooped her up just before she fell to her knees. With one arm clasped to her waist, he held her close to him, wrapping her in his arms and in his heart.

**********************************

Abby barely knew what was happening. The waves of tears were blinding her, and when he mentioned Luka, she felt like she'd had the wind knocked from her, and she could barely breathe. Her legs could no longer hold her weight, and she began to head for the sidewalk. 

Suddenly though, she felt fast arms slip around her waist and support her, pull her back to her feet. Enveloped in this new found safety she sensed with him, she felt protected from anything that the world could throw at her.

As Carter softly rocked her from side to side, Abby could feel Carter's warm breath on the top of her head. 

He didn't know how long they stood; He may well have stayed there all night, forever if he could. But she was beginning to shiver in the cool night air.

Carter gently muttered "I'll take you home. Make you some food. Yes." It was almost like he was talking to himself. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. "We'll go to my place." 

Abby raised her head, and looked up into his hazel-brown eyes. She didn't want to let him go. 

. He reluctantly released her from his grip, and started to take off his coat.

"What are you doing?" her voice was small and shaky, and cracked at almost every word. She was still close enough for Carter to feel her breathing. It was shallow and frantic, but she was calmer. 

"You're shivering…" Carter felt a chill almost as soon as he removed his coat, but she needed it more than he did. He wrapped it around her shoulders.

"But you'll get cold!" Abby made attempts to protest and resist, but found she had little energy to do either. And she was cold.

"How about I make you dinner?" Pulling the coat around her, she took a step back from Carter, and fixed her eyes on his. "…Kay"

He nodded, and they began to walk in silence, homeward bound. 

**********************************

 "What do you want to eat?" Carter's kitchen was large, well stocked and pristine. Abby lifted herself onto the work surface and swung her legs. He was reluctant to ask about the reason for her tears, afraid he would upset her again. Food seemed a safe topic of conversation, he thought.

"Whatever."

"Ok, how about we get takeaway?" 

She shrugged. "'sup to you."

"There's a gateaux in the fridge-"

"-What sort?"

Carter let a small laugh cross his lips.

"Black forest I think"

"…kay"

Carter reached up to get some bowls, but Abby caught his arm.

"You don't know much about comfort eating do you?" 

He watched bemused as Abby took the gateau from the fridge, and placed it gently in the centre of Carter's small dining table. Then, to his astonishment she took two forks and stuck them into the centre of the gateaux. 

"There." 

She was amazing, Carter thought.

She sat at the table and removed one of the forks, along with a large lump of cream and chocolate.

Amused, Carter took the seat opposite her, and followed her lead.

They ate in silence for a while, till almost the entire gateau was gone.

" 'Sgood" Abby mumbled, speaking with her mouth full.

"There doesn't appear to be much left." Carter grinned.

Placing his fork back into the gateau and leaving it there, he dared to ask what he wanted to know.

"You, um, Ok now? What happened?"

She hesitated, then supposing he would find out soon enough, Abby began to talk.

"Luka and I split up." Carter's heart did a little flip. 

"Oh – Abby, I'm sorry." He lied. 

"What happened?"

"He – I – They –" She couldn't bring herself to say it. 

Carter reached across the table and placed his hand upon hers. 

"What happened?" He urged her to speak with his eyes. Dropping her fork onto the plate with a ding, she composed herself.

"I caught Luka with someone else, ok?"  

She drew her hand away and ran it through her hair. Hearing herself say it out loud, sheer realisation hit her. She had been trying to dismiss it; she didn't want to believe it was possible. 

Carter was shocked. He thought Luka was better than that.

Abby stood up and began to roam round his spacious apartment.

"Abby -"

"What, Carter?" She snapped at him. "What? That's all there is." 

Carter stood up from the table and began to walk over to her.

She put up a palm "Don't-" 

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. They both jumped like a bomb had exploded. 

Warily, Carter peered through the spy hole, and saw an agitated Luka standing outside. Confused, he turned and looked at Abby, simply mouthing "It's him" 

Carter put the door onto the chain and opened it barely six inches.

"Carter…" Luka sounded tired and exasperated.

"It's late." Carter couldn't believe this guy. He was pissed off!

"Have you seen Abby?"

"No."

"Are you sure? She's not at her apartment."

"I haven't seen her, Ok? It's late; I have an early shift in the morning."

"I'll check with Susan, I suppose"

"Yeah. Goodnight"

"Thanks."

**********************************

Luka sighed as Carter closed the door.

Leaning against it, Luka rubbed his furrowed brow. He felt so bad, and wished he could turn back the clock.

He caught the sound of Carter's muffled voice leaking through the door, followed by a woman's. Frowning, he listened harder. As the woman spoke again, Luka recognised her voice. It was Abby.

**********************************

Carter sighed as he closed the door.

"He's gone."

"Thank you." Abby exhaled "Don't think I could deal with him right -" There was a wild rapping on the door. Abby stopped dead. Carter raised a single finger to his lips and Abby nodded. She hid behind the partition wall, breathing heavily. She had been here before. 

Taking tentative steps back to the door, Carter looked again through the spy hole. 

He almost fell over backwards as the door shook again from Luka's frantic beating. "Carter! I know she's in there. Let me talk to her!" 

Steadying himself, Carter instinctively locked the door. 

"She doesn't want to talk to you. Just go home Luka."

"No! I need to explain. Just two minutes! Please."

Carter was shouting now. "Go home Luka! Go home" 

Abby sunk to the floor, cradling her swimming head.

"Make him go…" Close to tears, and shaking with fear, Abby called out to Carter. "Please."

Luka caught her timid voice. "Abby? Abby, I'm sorry! I didn't mean -"

Carter was anxious to go to Abby's aid, but afraid to leave the door.

"Go home, Luka, before I call the police…" Carter attempted to sound stern; shouting didn't appear to be having any affect.

Luka knew he could do no more. He couldn't blame Abby for not wanting to see him. He felt awful. "I… Ok, I'll go. Ok." 

**********************************

Carter checked he'd left, and then raced to Abby's side.

"It's ok." He gently laid his hand on her shoulder to stop her shaking. "Hey, hey, what's all this? He's gone. He's gone."

"I thought he was going to -"

"Going to what? He's gone" Carter pulled her close.

"I thought he was going to get in and -"  

An awkward silence followed. Abby shrugged him off and rose to her feet. 

"I have the worst taste in men." 

Carter remained on the floor, and watched her pad silently around his living room. "Did he ever…?"

She waved her arms sarcastically, trying to avoid Carter's point. 

"Hurt me?" 

"- Hit you?" He added quickly. She turned from him, and stared out of the window. 

"No."

Carter paused

"Who did?"

"What?" She rounded on him, defensively folding her arms across her chest.

"Who was it that hit you?" Carter stood, and approached her slowly. "Boyfriend?" He stopped, and then ventured "Husband?"

 Stunned that Carter could read her so well, she walked to the couch and sat down, resting her head in her hands.

She lied. "No-one"

Carter wasn't convinced. "Abby…" He sat next to her on the couch and sighed. "I just want to understand." 

Sighing, she gave up the fight. She didn't have the strength to argue, especially with Carter.

"He was my boyfriend." She shifted uneasily. 

"What went wrong?"

"It started with little things. He was always so sorry for what he'd done. He bought me things, out of guilt. Then the violence got worse, and the guilt got less and less." She inhaled sharply, remembering some of the things he did.

"I used to go out to escape it. I ended up in seedy bars drinking until I felt I could go back.  He got mad if I stayed out. The drink made the punches less painful."

"Oh Abby." Carter tried to hold her, but she pushed him away. 

"Don't." Taking a deep breath, she carried on. "Just let me finish. I got pregnant. I stupidly let myself get pregnant." 

She could feel the tears pricking in her eyes, but fought them hard.

Carter was taken aback. So many awful scenarios filled his head. 

"I never told him; I was so scared of what he might do. I had an abortion."

He was almost relieved. It could have been much worse.

"I drank more and more. I became an alcoholic. He put me in the hospital twice. In the end I ran to a refuge and they found me a place to stay. I gradually stopped drinking, and moved to Chicago.   
 I've been sober for a year now, running for a year and a half."   
  


"My god, I never knew"

"No-one here can know." Her eyes were pleading now. "He'll find me. I changed my name to escape him. Only you and my mom know about this." Abby seemed to be trying to persuade him to keep quiet.

"I'm not going to tell anyone…You didn't tell Luka?"

"…No. and now I'm glad I didn't"

She pulled her feet up under her and sank into the deep cushions. Carter reached out, and this time she didn't push him away. 

"Do you want some coffee or something?"

She smiled and sighed. "Coffee would be wonderful."

Carter gently let her go and rose from the couch.

"Sugar?"

"Please" 

Carter paced into the kitchen, and began to make the coffee.

**********************************

"Two coffees with sugar. I was thinking, maybe you should…" Carter's voice trailed off to a whisper as he saw Abby.

"Stay here tonight."

 She was curled up on the couch, fast asleep.

Placing the coffee cups on the table as softly as possible, he thought about what to do next. She looked so beautiful and peaceful, but she would have one hell of a neck ache tomorrow. Carter smiled. 

He bent down and gently slid his arms under her limp form. Hoisting her up, he found she was an incredibly heavy sleeper. She barely twitched. A brass band could hold an impromptu concert next-door and she would never notice. It was probably a good thing, Carter thought. 

Carrying her silently through to his bedroom, he softly laid her on the bed and covered her with his duvet. Leaning down, he tenderly kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep well."

Silently closing the door behind him, he found a blanket and pillow for himself and settled down to sleep on the couch.

**********************************

Abby woke to find she had little idea of where she was. 

_Ok, Abby, what's going on? _

Strange bed. 

_What happened last night?_

Lifting the covers she realised she was still fully clothed. 

"Hmm…" What's the last thing you remember, Abby? Coffee? 

Yeah, and Carter. Maybe this is Carter's bed. 

Throwing back the duvet she swung her legs out and onto a plush blue carpet. Padding through to the kitchen, she saw a tray of breakfast food. There was a single, cut flower in a vase and a note. Picking up the note, she began to read.

_Abby_, it said, in Carter's angular scrawl.

_Made you breakfast. Sorry I'm not there, I had to get to work. If you need a shower or something, bathroom is last door on your left, feel free to use whatever. Hope I see you later,_

_Carter._

There were two kisses.

Abby said nothing, just smiled, as she munched on a bagel.

Finishing her breakfast, she scouted out the bathroom. 

Finding the appropriate door, she took a deep breath. 

She had seen guy's bathrooms before. Mostly in college. Eugh, now there's some places she'd never want to go again. 

Plucking up the courage to open the door, Abby was pleasantly surprised. It was clean. It was perfect. Spotless even! Baffled, Abby took off her clothes and climbed into the gleaming shower. Turning on the water she gently began to lather up her hair and relax. She started to sing.

"You've already won me over, 'nspite of me, 'n don't be alarmed if I fall………"

"¿qué quieres? no sabes la respuesta, ¿no es así? - no, no la sé!!" 

Abby screamed. Pulling the shower curtain around her naked body, she attempted to keep her dignity. Staring at the small round woman practically screaming Spanish at her, Abby's face was pure shock. 

  
A look of realisation crossed the Spaniards Latin features. "Señorita Abby, sí?" She started to smile. Pulling a dark blue robe from the back of the door, she held it out to Abby. 

Who was this? Her eyes then registered the cloth in the woman's other hand. A maid? Carter had a maid! That explained the weird super-tidiness of Carter's flat.

Completely bewildered, Abby placed the shower curtain between her teeth and tentatively reached out to take it from her. 

**********************************

Handing the vendor the money for his coffee, Carter warmed his icy hands on the little Dixie cup. He had waited as long as he could to greet Abby when she woke, ask if she needed anything, but he had to get to work.

And he'd forgotten his jacket.

 He turned towards the large ambulance bay doors, and headed inside. What should he say to Luka? He wanted to smack the guy, but he wasn't very good at fist fights. 

"Is it cold in here, or is it just me?"

 "Heating's down. Maintenance says for a few hours at most." Kerry bustled into admin with a less than amicable tone.

"A few hours?!?" Carter was indignant.

"And what are we supposed to do in the meantime?" Susan wanted some kind of answer, but Kerry shrugged and dodged the question. 

"Kovac called in sick-" 

"Son-of-a-" Carter muttered.

 Kerry shot him a displeased look, but chose to leave it.

"-Greene is covering for him. He should be here in about half an hour."

"Dr Greene?" If he'd been listening, Carter would have caught the hint of concern that escaped in Susan's words. He was too lost in the fact that Luka had taken the shift off! 

Jeez, who did this guy think he was? 

Without thinking, he slammed his fist onto the Admin desk. 

A hollow thud echoed throughout the ER, and everyone turned to look at him. 

"Jerry, are the labs back on Mrs Robinson?"

"Uh, yeah, Dr Carter, here…"

"Thanks." With that, Carter strode off to Exam 3 under his own black cloud, many pairs of eyes burning holes in his back. 

**********************************

Walking along the icy sidewalk, head down, Abby headed to her own apartment. 

She didn't want to be at Carter's when he got home, though she'd stayed   
most of the day. 

Lifting her sleeve, she checked her watch. Almost 10. She guessed he'd be home by now, reading her note. It had taken her almost an hour to compose it, but she had to get her thoughts in order.

_'Carter'_ it read. '_I'll call you_. 

_Thanks, Abby'_

Then she had added three kisses. 

'_PS. I borrowed your jacket._'

Truth was, the warm scent of the jacket made her feel protected, like   
she felt with Carter. 

She wanted to take a little piece of that home with her. 

Climbing the stairs to her apartment, she fumbled in her pants pocket for her keys. The sleeves of the jacket were too long and got in the way. Turning the key in the lock, she sighed, and pushed open the door. 

As she turned to close it, a foot jammed into the gap.


	3. Wanted Chapter 3

Acting on instinct, she stamped on the foot, and it recoiled. 

She slammed the door and leant against it, panting. 

She flinched as the intruder banged ferociously on the door, and her ragged breath caught in her throat. 

She raced across the room to the phone, and called the one person that she needed the most.

"Carter…" Her breath came in fits and starts. More vicious beating came at the door.

"Come on, Carter, pick up!"

"Hello?"

"Carter, there's some one outside"

"Abby, is that you?"

"Please, Carter, there's someone outside. I think it's him. Can you come?"

"Don't worry. Stay inside and I'll be right there." The phone blipped, and he hung up.

**********************************

Carter ran the short journey to Abby's in a panic. 

What if he had gotten in? This guy was dangerous. 

He took the stairs to her apartment in twos, using the banisters to propel himself forwards.

When he reached her floor, he was met by a sight he didn't anticipate. Someone was outside Abby's door alright, but it wasn't who he was expecting.

It was Luka. 

Catching Carter in the corner of his eye, Luka rounded on him, almost loosing his balance.

He's drunk, Carter thought. 

Luka stumbled up to him, and got close enough for Carter to smell the alcohol on his breath.

"This is your fault." Luka stated in a slurred whisper

"You're drunk. Go home, sleep it off." Carter's priority was Abby. He pushed past Luka and almost reached her door. 

"Hey! I was talking to you!" Luka placed a hand on his shoulder and span him round. 

Carter shrugged it off.

"Go home; she doesn't want to see you."

"You won't let me see her. It's your fault." Luka swung a fist at Carter, and it landed with a thud on the side of his face. 

Gasping, Carter reeled and his back hit Abby's door. His hand shot to the side of his face and he could already feel his eye throbbing and swelling. 

"Oh my god, Carter, I'm so sorry…" 

Luka, sobering a little, tried to apologise. 

He held out his hand to Carter to help him balance back on his feet,   
but Carter wouldn't take it.

"Go Home, Luka." Carter's hand clenched to a fist at his side, but relaxed again as Luka gave up and disappeared down the stairs.

Carter turned to face Abby's door, wincing as his bruised eye began to swell shut.

Knocking gently on the door, He called out to her.

"Abby, it's Carter. He's gone. Can you let me in?" 

**********************************

He heard the scratching and scraping back of bolt after bolt. He counted five in all.

As she opened the door tentatively, she looked straight past Carter into the hall behind.

"It was Luka" He could almost feel her relief. 

"He was drunk. He's gone now. You Ok?"

She didn't respond. He tried again.

 "Can I come in?"

Abby swung the door open and walked away, rubbing her pale face in her hands.

"Abby?" He closed the door gently behind him, and started towards her. 

Something on her coffee table caught his eye.

A bottle. 

He stopped and squinted at the table. There was a glass close by, but he couldn't tell if the bottle was missing any of its contents.

He followed her into the kitchen, and watched her draw some water. Her hand was shaking, and she could barely keep the glass under the stream.

"Abby…"

"I'm ok"

Her hand began to convulse, and more water fell in the sink and on her hand than into the glass.

Carter took the glass from her and, filling it, handed it back. 

She took a long drink, and it seemed to steady her a little. "Thanks."

She placed the glass on the draining board, and leant on the worksurface. 

**********************************

Abby turned her head toward him, but Carter looked away, trying to hide his face. He didn't want her to see him like this, and he didn't want to explain how it had happened. 

She misunderstood his inability to look at her as disappointment. 

She walked over to him, and softly turned his head with her hand. "I didn't drink it."  As she saw his quickly purpling eye, her mind raced, finishing up somewhere between concern and confusion. 

"What happened?"

He ducked the question "It's nothing. You didn't drink it?". 

"No, I mean, I was going to, but…You should ice that eye."

"I'm ok, really." She could see he was lying, and in a lot of pain.

He winced as Abby gently brushed his eye with a careful thumb.

"I think it's serious."

"It's fine really. You were going to?"

"I didn't though, did I? Can you just drop it?" She snapped, then, she turned her back and began to rummage in the freezer

"I think I have some ice."

When she turned around again, he was gone. Putting the ice on the draining board, she went in search of him.

**********************************

She found him sitting on her couch, staring at the bottle.

"See? It's full. Now, please, let me look at that eye."

He said nothing.  Picking up the unopened bottle, he strode past her and back to the kitchen. She was at his heels.

He stood at the sink and twisted off the top of the bottle. Now, he spoke.

"Do you have anything else here?" 

"No"

He gave her a look of scepticism.__

"No, Carter!" She couldn't believe he thought she'd lie, after all that had happened. "That's all I have." 

He started to pour it down the sink.

"Why keep it here?"

"Because…"

The drink noisily made its way from bottle to drain.

"Why?"

"Because it protects me…"

As Abby watched the last drops of liquor fall from the bottle, she saw her safety net slip away.

 Her tears mimicked the falling liquid, cold and pearly.

"…if he comes back, it's the only thing that can help me."

His anger faded. 

"No, its not." 

She sniffed "What do you mean?"

He stepped up to her, and took a deep breath. 

"I can help you."

She looked at the floor and shook her head.

"No, you can't. No-one can."

"Let me try. Please."

Carter took her by the shoulders, and she looked at him with dark orbs, red rimmed and glistening.

"Abby…"

"Will you stay tonight?" She threw a glance at the door. "In case…"

"I don't think he'll come back-" 

Seeing the expression on her face when she thought that he wasn't going to stay almost broke his heart. 

"-But I don't think you should be alone right now." 

He had every intention of staying, from the moment she called. 

**********************************

His eye, long forgotten, began to pipe up again, sending long fingers of pain down his cheek. 

He inhaled sharply through his teeth, and raised his hand to the source.

"You should really let me ice that eye." She wanted to do something to  
 ease his pain, as he had done hers.

"No, it'll be fine, honestly"

"Come on Carter, quit being macho."

Relenting, He nodded. 

She disappeared, and returned with the ice wrapped in a tea towel.  

"Um, I don't think I can reach properly."

He was a good foot taller than her, so he obligingly sat on a chair at her breakfast bar.

She leant into him, and began to softly place the ice pack on his eye.

"Ouch! Well, I don't think much of your bedside manner, Nurse."

He mocked her, smiling.

"Hey, watch it, blinky!" 

She laughed.

"That's the first time I've seen you laugh in a long time."

"Yeah, well…" she trailed off, returning her focus to his bruised face. 

"How'd you get it?"

"What?"

"Your sparkling wit, Carter, what do you think?"

What was he supposed to say? 

Should he say Luka did it, and make her more afraid? Or should he lie to her? He didn't want to lie to her, but she certainly didn't need the extra worry.

He took a deep breath.

"Argument with a door."

She tilted her head, and looked at him through disbelieving eyes.

"Oh, really."

"Yeah, I just don't look where I'm going, that's all. No big deal."

"Huh." 

He was a worse liar than he was a patient. She knew that wasn't the truth, but she had no idea what was. Maybe she'd push him for it later, but for now, she was content to accept his story and leave it at that.

"There, that should reduce the swelling a little. Can you open it at all?"

He tried, but there was too much swelling and pain.

"Maybe tomorrow" He conceded defeat.

She nodded and agreed. "Maybe tomorrow"

**********************************

He ran her a bath while she found him out some blankets and a pillow. He would be sleeping on the couch, of course. 

Carter knelt beside the tub and swirled the water with a finger. It was just right to soothe her aching. 

He sat on his haunches and deliberated over which bubble bath to add,  
 her bathroom held such a selection.

"…it's like a spa in here…"

"Well thanks; I'm sure there was a compliment in there somewhere."

He turned around, and his one good eye met with a pair of shapely legs poking out from underneath a lavender robe, knotted at her waist.

"Did you pick one yet?" she bounced on the balls of her feet impatiently.

"Uh, no" 

"Well, come on, a girl could get cold standing here."

"Right, um…"

He scanned the rows of bottles, and then selected one that was lavender, almost matching her robe exactly.

He unscrewed the lid and poured a little under the stream of water. It frothed and foamed instantly, and soon the room was filled with the scent of lavender flowers, relaxing and calming.

"Excellent choice, Dr Carter" She commented, giving him a subtle wink.

He turned off the tap and stood up.

"There you go."

She walked up to the edge of the tub and perched on the edge, dipping an elegant hand into the bubbles. He moved to the doorway, and leant on the frame. Using her other hand, she let her dark hair fall down onto her shoulders.

She really was beautiful, he thought, watching in the doorway.

Why Luka would do that to her, he didn't understand.

"Thanks, Carter." She turned her head to face him, and that dark hair fanned. "There are a couple blankets and a pillow on the couch." 

He took that as his cue to leave. He nodded to her, and gently closed the door. 

**********************************

Walking back into the kitchen, Carter placed his hands on his hips and wondered what to do next. His stomach growled its thoughts, and he realised he hadn't eaten in what seemed like forever. 

Returning to the closed bathroom door, he called out to her.

"Hey, Abby, you hungry?"

She thought for a moment. She hadn't eaten since the breakfast this morning.  

"Yeah."

"Shall I order takeout?"

"Um, get Chinese, yeah. The phone is on the table by the couch. There should be a menu and phone number there too."

He had registered this before, but didn't say.

"Ok, Thanks." He went back to the lounge, picked up the phone, and dialled the number.


	4. Wanted Chapter 4

The takeout arrived just as Abby exited the bathroom. Carter answered the door and paid the man, then placed the brown paper bag on the coffee table. 

She padded barefoot into the lounge.

He looked up as she entered. 

She was wearing a white vest that finished about an inch over her navel, and a pair of baggy shorts. The same lavender robe hung about her shoulders, but wasn't knotted as before, and her hair, slightly damp, was full of waves. 

Carter could just make out most of a slogan on the vest. 

Catching him staring, she pulled the sides of her robe open so he could read it.

"How's my driving?" Carter read, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey, now don't ridicule the shirt!"

He put up his hands in mock surrender. 

She sat on the couch next to him, and peaked inside the brown bag. 

"What've we got? I'm starving!"

"Uh, noodles, egg fried rice… take a look." She began to unpack the boxes as he got up and walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, where'd you keep the cutlery?" he called back to her.

"That's cheating. You've got to use the free chopsticks."

He walked back into the lounge, and folded his arms.

"You're serious, aren't you…?" He cocked his head to the side, and looked at her, smiling.

"As a heart attack. Now come on, before it gets cold." 

Carter sat next to her, and reluctantly picked up his chopsticks. 

She found hers and unwrapped them, then, reaching for the nearest box, began to work her fingers swiftly and with ease. 

Carter just watched her for a moment, and then attempted to mimic her motion.

He picked up a box that contained sweet and sour chicken.

Doesn't look so hard, really, he thought.

She watched him out of the corner of her eye, as he chased a piece of chicken around the box. He eventually caught it, and raised it about six inches above the box. 

Wow, he thought. I'm doing well for a beginner. A proud smile crossed his face.

"Hey, look!"

Just as he said that, the sticks slipped, and the piece of chicken spun from his grasp and landed with a rather wet thud on the table. 

"Oops."

They finished the meal in hilarity. Carter proceeded to drop most of it onto the floor and table. Abby eventually let him use a fork, if only to save her furniture. 

**********************************

Carter sat back in the sofa and sighed.

"What time you on tomorrow?" he asked, hoping she was on the same time as him.

"Um, eight" She answered, finishing the last bits of the noodles, and then placing the box back on the table.

She definitely wasn't looking forward to it. "You?"

"Same." He wasn't supposed to be on until ten, but he could go in early.

She yawned, and pulled her robe around her.

"You should go to bed."

Glancing at the clock, she nodded. "It's late." 

They both rose from the couch, and moved around the table.

 They paused, just watching each other.

"You'll be ok, you know…" Carter stated as a fact, certain of it.

She walked close to him, and took his face in her hands. At first he thought she was reaching for him in a different way, but she just ran a soft thumb over his bruise.

"Will I live, Nurse?" 

She smiled, turned, and throwing a casual "Goodnight" back to him, padded into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

**********************************

She was running, through a long hall. She tried this door, and that, but she could find no way out. The corridor twisted and opened out into her kitchen. She saw herself, cowering on the floor, a dark spectre standing over her, fist raised. She reached out, trying to save her other self, pull her out, but she just seemed to move away. The harder she tried, the more the distance grew. 

She was falling, further and further away, tumbling, over and over, down, down...

The harsh ring of her alarm brought her out of her dream world, back into a not so different reality.

She sat up, realising she was shaking all over and covered in a cold sweat.

It was the same dream. She had had that dream once, maybe twice a week, ever since she'd started running.

Pushing back the duvet, she climbed from the bed and threw on her robe.

**********************************

When she got into the lounge, Carter was still sleeping soundly on the couch. She walked up to him and gently shook his shoulder.

"Hey…"

He shifted a little, but stayed asleep.

"Hey, Carter, come on, it's seven am, and we have to be at work in an hour."

He opened both his eyes, much to Abby's relief. 

"I'm up, I'm up…" He propped himself up on his arms. She smiled at him. 

"That eye looks better." 

He caught her smile, and returned it.

"Feels better too."

 It wasn't throbbing any more, that much was true. 

She went to the kitchen to make coffee. 

"Hey-" He called to her. "-Is it ok if I take a shower?"

"Knock yourself out."

**********************************

He came back about ten minutes later, rubbing his hair dry in a towel.

"Hey. There's some coffee in the pot." She greeted him, nodding to the kitchen.

He lowered the towel to his shoulders, and began to walk toward the kitchen.

She got up and went to dress. 

"Great hair, by the way…" She taunted as she swept passed.

Watching her go, he caught his bemused reflection in the mirror. 

She had a point. It was all over the place. He tried to flatten it with his hands, but gave up. He yawned, stretched, and headed for her coffee machine.

**********************************

They arrived, forty minutes later, outside the doors of the ER. 

He squeezed her arm.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Her voice was shaky but sure.

They stepped up and the automatic doors creaked and rolled back. Warm air blew out and over them, carrying with it the hectic noise of a packed ER.

"Looks like they've fixed the heating…" he commented, glad.

Stepping through, she suddenly felt very uneasy.

"Morning, Abby" Kerry was behind the admin desk.  She saw Carter, and did a double take. "Carter, you're not on till ten."

Abby shot him a puzzled look, and disappeared into the lounge.

"Had some charts to catch up on." He justified himself, though even he thought it sounded lame.

Kerry shrugged. "Whatever." 

Carter sighed. She obviously hadn't noticed his eye, or if she had, she chose to ignore it. He didn't need to explain it to her as well. 

He followed Abby into the lounge, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I didn't want you to come in alone, that's all…"

"You didn't have to-"

"-I wanted to. I'm gonna work on my charts till my shift starts. I'll be in here if you need me." He moved away from her, and sat down at the table, flicking through the clipboards. He watched as she fumbled with her combination, the shaking in her hands making it very difficult. 

She put her bag inside her locker and threw on her scrubs. Closing the locker she leant against it, breathing deep, eyes closed.

"You can do this, you know." He had so much faith in her strength. Too much, she thought.

She straightened, swallowing hard. 

"Yeah." she said, with all the conviction she could muster. Spinning on the balls of her feet, she headed to the door. 

Pausing, she turned to Carter, apparently about to say something.

He just put a long finger to his lips and shook his head.

"Good luck." He mouthed.

She smiled, turned, and left him alone.

**********************************

It was almost ten before she even saw Luka. He didn't see her, she made sure of that, but she watched him for a moment. He looked bad. Hung over, she suspected, but there was something else. She didn't have the time to figure out what it was before someone tapped her on the shoulder.

She turned round, and, to her surprise, she saw Rose. 

"Abby…"

"Save your breath. You're welcome to him." She pushed past the doctor and carried on down the hall.

"No, Abby, just hear me out."

_Oh, this was going to be good._

Turning, Abby put an impatient hand on her hip and glared at Rose, dark eyes hard and intimidating.

"Well?"

Rose glanced around. "Not here." Taking Abby by the arm, she pulled her into the ladies.

Abby, indignant, shook herself free.

"Get off me… Well?"

"I'm sorry, Abby, but you have to understand I didn't know that you and Luka were…together."

She knew deep down that Rose wasn't to blame, but she couldn't forgive her. 

Not yet.

 "Oh, so that makes it all better then? I catch you with my boyfriend, but you didn't know he was my boyfriend, so that's ok, is it?" Abby spat angrily.

Her heart pounded in her ears and she swallowed hard.

"I never said it was, but -" Rose couldn't look her in the eye. "I am sorry."

Abby felt bad for her. Her voice softened, just a little. "Is that all you have to say?"

Rose nodded and hung her head.

Abby left her alone, lost in guilt.

**********************************

Carter sat, reading his charts, but not really seeing them. His mind was elsewhere. 

The sound of the door brought him back to earth, and sent his charts clattering to the tabletop.  He glanced up to see Luka standing in the doorway, but flicked his eyes back to his charts almost as fast.

Luka stood in the doorway for a moment, apparently having an inward battle with himself. Should he go over and attempt to apologise? He glanced at Carter and saw the large amethyst mark that covered his eye, and the piles of charts around him.

Maybe he'd leave it. He was probably busy anyway.

He just got his white coat from his locker, and left.

Looking up as Luka left, Carter frowned. He thought at least he might make some kind of attempt to apologise. 

Carter paused. Perhaps it was better that he hadn't. 

He checked his watch. Ten. He'd better go clock in. 

He climbed out of the chair, and moved to his locker. 

He drew out his neat white coat, crisp and clean. It was tailored, and had his name embroidered on the breast. John Carter, MD. He pulled it on, and straightened it with pride. The top pocket sagged under the weight of his pens, most of them emblazoned with drugstore logos. 

His ID hung from the pocket, a small picture on a card that needed updating. 

He placed his stethoscope around his neck; it felt cold against his skin. 

It was how he chose to carry it, like a symbol of his ability to help people. It represented more than the coat or the ID ever could.

**********************************

Abby strode from the ladies room, breathing heavily and trying to calm her fast beating heart. 

She knew it wasn't Rose's fault, she really did, but what was she supposed to do?

"Abby, Mr Cooper's foley bag is full" Susan called out to her.

"Coming." She turned and followed Susan into exam 2, glad to have something else to think about.

Susan was examining Mr Cooper, but Abby caught the little glimpses that she was throwing her way. 

"What?"

"Nothing" 

The glimpses didn't stop, though.

"Come on, Susan, What?"

"You look a little tired, that's all." 

She replaced her stethoscope in her pocket, and started to scribble something on the chart. 

"How is everything with you and Luka anyway?" Susan looked at Abby and smiled as she said it, expecting the same smile returned. When it wasn't, her grin disappeared, and was replaced by a frown.

"We split up" She muttered, busying herself with replacing the bag.

 "Oh, Abby, I'm sorry, I didn't know. What happened? Are you ok?"

Abby nodded

"What time d'ya finish? We could go out for a drink or something, talk if you like."

"Six, But…"

"Think about it. I finish at six too, so come find me if you want. If you don't, that's fine too."

Now Abby smiled and looked up.

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

Susan held her smile for a long moment. They were friends, she was sure, and she hoped that Abby would accept her offer.

**********************************

Finishing up with Mr Cooper's foley bag, Abby left Susan alone to finish the exam, closing the door behind her. 

Starting down the corridor, she saw Luka coming in the opposite direction. Alarmed, she spun around and ducked back into Exam 2, with Susan and Mr Cooper.

"…Abby? You ok?" Susan was puzzled, and a little worried. 

"It's him" She hoped he hadn't seen her, but that was unlikely. 

Sure enough, he burst in on them less than ten seconds later.

"Abby?"

"Not now Luka."

"We have to talk."

"Do you want me to leave?" Susan was reluctant to, seeing Abby's reaction, but this was none of her business. 

"No, we aren't going to talk about this now. Not here." 

Abby tried to pass Luka, return to the corridor and escape, but he blocked her way. 

"Abby, please…"

Her eyes looked up into his, pleading, starting to shine.

"Not now, Luka" She whispered.

Susan chose her moment to step in. 

"I think you should go, Luka.-" It wasn't forceful, but there was an anxious edge to her tone.

"-Before you do something you'll regret." 

Luka wasn't listening.

"I'm sorry, Abby. I'm sorry, about everything. About Rose, about Carter, about everything."

Anger was boiling inside her veins. 

"What do you expect me to…" 

She trailed off. Sorry about Carter? 

Abby didn't understand. 

"What do you mean? Sorry about Carter?" It didn't make any sense.

"His black eye…" Luka was puzzled too now. He thought she would have known what happened, what he did. He tried to explain, but did a lousy job.

 "It was an accident. I was drunk."

"You hit him…?" She said, quietly, almost to herself.

"I am sorry, really. I didn't know what I was doing. You have to understand"

Abby barely heard him. Carter had lied to her, she knew, but she never thought that this was what really happened. What? Did he think she couldn't handle the truth? So much for his faith in her. 

Luka gently placed his hand on her arm, but she pushed him away.

"Get away from me…" she murmured through gritted teeth.

"Abby…" 

"No!" She screamed at him.

 "Back off, Luka" Susan was at Abby's side, confused.

He gave Abby one last, lingering look of apology, then turned and left.

Susan stared at Abby. Her dark eyes were glazed and shiny, and her arms folded across her chest in thought. 

"What the…?"

Abby looked up, and saw Carter through the window. "…Carter." Abby darted from the room, leaving Susan in her wake.

**********************************


	5. Wanted Chapter 5

She called to him discretely at first, but the noise from the ER made it impossible for him to hear her. He walked on, and she lost sight of him. 

Frantic, she ran to catch up with him, dodging the people that suddenly seemed to clutter the corridor.

She caught sight of him as he turned a corner, loosing him again almost as fast. She flew around the corner, straight into a gurney. 

The side of the gurney hit her square in the stomach, and it crashed against the wall. She yelped as the momentum carried her over the gurney, and she landed, unconscious, in a crumpled heap on the floor.

Carter turned to face the source of that horrible noise.

His mouth fell open, and for a split second everything stopped, and all he could see was that broken body, curled, foetal-like, almost underneath the gurney.

Then the world began to spin again, and he dashed to her aid. He called out for help as he checked her pulse. It was strong; she had just been knocked out. 

"Kerry! Mark!"

Mark dropped his charts onto the desk, and sped to Carter's side. Kerry followed close behind.

"What happened?"

Carter was breathless, and all he could manage was a swift shrug of his shoulders as he checked her airway.

His attention focused on her face, he did not notice the dark stain that was slowly spreading from her abdomen.

Mark did, however.

"Oh, God. Carter, look."

He ignored Mark.

"Carter!"

He turned to him, then to where he was examining. His face paled, and he began to splutter.

Kerry saw this reaction, and took charge of the situation.

"We have to get her to trauma 1, quickly, lift her onto the gurney. Malik, Chuny, come on."

Carter tried to follow her into the trauma room, but Kerry barred his way. 

"No, Carter, you know that you won't be able to do this."

He nodded, obviously distraught, but understanding.

**********************************

They stabilised her, and stopped the bleeding. They discovered that the gurney had torn a six inch gash in her stomach, and the fall had cracked two of her ribs. She was still unconscious when they wheeled her from the trauma room. Carter had been sitting outside, and jumped up when they passed.

He took her hand, and walked with them to one of the empty exam rooms.

Malik and Chuny pulled up the sides of the gurney, while Kerry stood by and watched. As the nurses left, Kerry approached the side of the gurney that Carter was stood at, holding Abby's hand.

"She's going to be ok. She has some cracked ribs, and a concussion, but she should sleep it off."

Carter looked at Kerry with grateful eyes.

"Thank you."

Kerry smiled and put up a hand.

"Just doing my job." Then she added, more tentatively. "Should I go and find Luka?"

Carter was hesitant to answer that, but realised that it was Kerry's way of asking if he and Abby were an item.

"Um, Abby and Luka aren't together anymore."

"Are you and Abby-"

"-No… We're just…friends." 

Kerry backed off, not wanting to intrude.

"Ok. I'll be back to check on her later. You can stay with her. It's not too busy."  
  


"Thank you."

Kerry left, and Carter pulled up a chair, next to the bed. He rested one hand on Abby's, and propped up his chin on the other. He sat, just watching her sleep. 

She seemed so peaceful, unaware of his presence. 

Unaware of everything, it seemed. 

There was no pain on her face; Carter suspected that they'd given her morphine. This he was grateful for.

His thoughts turned to the accident itself. What was she doing? Maybe it was just a case of wrong place wrong time. He'd ask her when she felt better. 

For now he was just content to watch her sleep. 

As he gazed at her, his eyelids began to droop, and he fell into a light slumber.

**********************************

He was woken again by a low moan; Abby was awake.

She turned her face to him, and smiled a woozy smile.

"Hey."

He had never seen such a perfect sight, as she smiled up at him.

She tried to turn on her side, but cried out in pain.

Carter left her briefly to call for Kerry, but he returned in a second, taking her small hand in his. 

Kerry entered and beamed at Abby.

"Hey, how're you feeling?"

Abby managed a small shrug, and a smile.

"You cracked a couple of ribs, and the gurney cut you pretty bad, but you're going to be fine."

Abby tried to pull herself up into a sitting position, but the pain became so much that she had to stop, and lie back down.

"You'll be sore for a while." Kerry concurred. "We gave you Morphine, but I'm reluctant to give you more. How about some Tylenol?"

"No, Kerry, I'm fine, really." Her voice was raspy, like a tool long out of use. 

She tried to sit up again, but couldn't quite manage it through the pain. 

Carter gestured to Kerry to help him prop up the head of the bed. She obliged, and Abby thanked them.

"I'm off now, but if you want anything, Susan's on till ten."

"Thanks, Kerry." Abby smiled at her, and wearily waved goodbye.

Carter watched the door close behind her, and turned back to Abby.

"I thought I'd lost you…" He said, quietly. 

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" She lifted a hand to his face and gently stroked his bruise.

He put his hand atop hers, and, their fingers entwined, placed it back on the edge of the bed.

"Because…" He looked away, and stared at a point on the floor.

"I know what happened." She said matter-of-fact-ly.

Carter's eyes shot back to hers.

"It wasn't his fault, he was drunk." Carter spoke quickly, not sure why he was defending Luka.

"Why did you lie to me?"

 Those brown eyes were drilling into his, and he was suddenly lost in them.

"Because I wanted you to feel safe."

Her eyes softened instantly, and she smiled.

"But Carter, I do feel safe." She paused "I feel safe when I'm with you."

The smile that crossed his face could only show part of his happiness at hearing her say that.

They stayed like that for a second, just enjoying the moment. 

**********************************

Carter stifled a yawn.

"You should go. Get some sleep." 

"You'll be ok?" He stood up, but didn't let go of her hand.

"Yeah. Go. But promise me something?" She squeezed his hand.

"Anything"

"You'll come back?"

He bent down and kissed her forehead, just as he had done that first night at his apartment.

Straightening again, he whispered to her.

"Always."

She watched him go, the door swinging behind him. She smiled as she closed her eyes, and fell into a deep, uninterrupted sleep. 

**********************************

Carter came back just a few hours later, refreshed. Abby was still sleeping as he tiptoed into the room, and took up his place again by her side.

Susan had seen him come in, and followed him into the room.

He looked up as she entered, and nodded a greeting.

"She should be able to go home when she wakes up." She said in hushed tones.

"Ok."

Carter checked his watch.

"It's almost one am! Didn't your shift finish at ten?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to wait around with Abby till you got back, 'case she woke up. I just left to get some coffee when you turned up."

"Thanks. If you want to go home, I'll tell her you were here." He smiled warmly at her, his face giving away more gratitude than his words did.

"Are you Ok? Your eye-"

"-It's ok. Do you know what happened? Why she was running?"

"I don't know, she was arguing with Luka, then she found out he hit you and ran out of the exam room, chasing after you."

Carter looked to Abby then back at Susan.

"So all this-" He paused, sadness taking up residence in his voice. "- Is my fault?"

"No, Carter -"

He looked distant, and his eyes glazed.

"She was chasing after me, wasn't she?" he quietly 

"It was an accident. No-one is to blame-"

"I am. I lied to her, when she needed the truth."

Susan placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Talk to her. That's all I can say." With that, she turned and left them alone.


	6. Wanted Chapter 6

The ambulance dropped the pair of them outside Abby's apartment. Mark had insisted they be taken home, as neither of them had a car at the hospital. 

Abby was sitting in a wheelchair, Carter stood behind her at the handles.

They looked at the steps that led to Abby's apartment. 

"I don't think we really thought this through…"

Abby began to chuckle, but stopped abruptly; it hurt too much.

"Can you walk at all?" Carter didn't want her to, but he didn't see any other way to get up there.

"Yeah, I think so." 

Carter came around to the front of the wheelchair, and held out both his hands. She took them, and looked up at him. 

"Ok. Ready?" he smiled, and braced himself.

She nodded.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled herself up, balancing against Carter's weight, resting on his hands.

 From the moment she started to stand, Carter saw the pain on her face. She was breathing short and sharp, and biting her lip to stop herself screaming out.

He slid his arm around her waist, and placed her arm over his shoulder in one motion.

He took her weight, and she relaxed, the pain subsiding.

She breathed out.

"Thanks."

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

They took the steps slowly, one by one.

**********************************

He placed her gently on the couch.

Catching his breath, he said, "I'll just get the chair." and disappeared.

Abby sighed.

She softly placed her hand on her stomach, and winced.

Tentatively, she lifted the edge of her blood-stained T-Shirt high enough to reveal her bandaged torso. There were spots of blood seeping through the whiteness of the gauze.

"Damnit…" She whispered. She hadn't looked at it before. Lifting her T-shirt higher, she saw the purple-black markings that covered the middle of her abdomen. She traced the edges with her finger, wincing when she hit a bruise that had not shown itself yet.

"You'll be sore for a while." Carter tenderly said, knowing she had not seen him return.

She jumped a little, and pulled her T-Shirt back down, though not as fast as she might have done.

"I didn't hear you…What happened to the chair?"

Carter shrugged, half smiling.

"You lost it?"

The half smile turned into an angelic grin.

"Not lost, exactly. More…misplaced."

"You mean someone swiped it?"

"Or it rolled away."

Abby shook her head, almost in disbelief.

"I can't believe you lost the chair!"

"Me? I should think you had a hand in it too!"

"Ah, maybe, but you were driving…"

Carter made fish faces, his mouth opening and closing in mock outrage. He flopped down next to her. 

She yawned, and let out a heavy sigh.

Carter gave her a sideways look. He watched her as her eyelids began to blink, and then close. 

He stood up again, and turned to face her.

"Are you tired?"

"No, Nope, Nope." She shook her head sleepily, and tried to hide another yawn.

"Come on, I'll help you to bed."

She looked up at him through bleary eyes and nodded.

He pulled her up once more, and supported her into her bedroom, sat her on the big double bed.

"You'll be ok from here?"

"Yeah. The blankets should be by the couch." 

He nodded and left.

He sought the blankets, and found them neatly folded beside the couch. He shook them out and spread them over the couch.

**********************************

"Carter…"

She hadn't wanted to call for him, but there was no way she could get out of this one.

"Carter!"

He appeared at the doorway, and looked in. His eyes registered Abby's shirt half-way over her head, and felt he shouldn't be looking. He turned around and called to her.

"What's up?"

"…I think I'm a little…it hurts to…I think I'm…Stuck."

"I don't think I should…" He shifted his weight uneasily.

"It's ok. Just…Help me get ready for bed." She stopped abruptly, and Carter thought he heard her words crack. There was the sound of a scuffle, almost as if she was fighting with the T-shirt. Her voice came back, shouting in frustration. 

"I can't do anything!" 

That did it. 

Carter was sitting beside her in an instant. 

"Ok. Just take it easy."

He took the bottom of the t-shirt in both hands, gently lifted it over her head and tossed it onto the bed behind him.

"There."

She was still tense, and sitting in her bra made her more so.

He let his sight wander across her skin, just for a second.

Something on her smooth back caught his eye. A scar, perhaps? It was about the size of his hand, and had ragged edges like it was running down her back.

Probably something he gave her to remember him by, Carter thought.

She saw the reflection of them in the mirror on her dresser. His eyes were looking at her bare back, a mixed look of puzzlement and sorrow on his features. 

Confused, she tried to shake him out of it.

"My night-shirt is in the top drawer, over there."

Carter looked up, registered this as request, and walked to the chest. Pulling open the drawer, he saw, sure enough, the night-shirt neatly folded on the top. 

He pulled it out, began to turn away, and then stopped.

**********************************

Carter spotted something else in the drawer.

A pile of men's clothes.

"…Abby"

She craned her neck to see what he had seen. Her face fell, not in embarrassment, but it had evoked previous emotions. 

"I forgot about those." Then, seeing Carter's puzzled expression, she added:

"They're Luka's"

"Ah. Do you want me to take them into work tomorrow? Give them back?" 

He wondered how he was going to do that - without getting another black eye.

She thought for a moment.

"That's probably for the best."

He returned to sitting behind her, night-shirt in hand.

The scar caught his eye again, but this time he reached out and touched it.

She pulled away, suddenly realising what he had been so fixated on earlier.

He mentally shook himself. What was he playing at?

"I'm sorry, Abby, I didn't mean to…"

"…You startled me, that's all."

She blushed. 

He didn't look at her again as he helped her dress. They did not speak until Abby was fully dressed, and it was her who broke the silence.

"Parting gift." She simply stated, staring at her reflection in the mirror.

He looked over her shoulder, and met her gaze reflected in the glass.

She shook her head, trying to dispel the memories.

He watched her as she gently led herself down on the bed, wincing as her torso contacted the mattress. He climbed off the bed as gently as possible, and pulled the duvet up and over her. She smiled at him.

"You ok? In any pain? Mark gave me some Tylenol to give you if-"

She interrupted him.

"I'm fine."

Her eyes were softly closed, but she was still smiling.

Carter stood, silently, barely daring to breathe, watching her.

He watched as she fell deeper and deeper asleep, till he was satisfied she was completely gone.


	7. Wanted Chapter 7

**********************************

(A/N) Con-cu-bine – Matter-of-fact-ly is per-fect-ly le-git! Bill Gates sez so.

Valaraiya – I was running out of words for purple! – ref. "Amethyst"

Ps. Did anyone else love the episode "Hindsight" And also "A little help from my friends" ? 

I don't own 'em, just write weird stalker-like fanfiction.

**********************************

Abby opened her eyes. The winter sun was cutting through her room like a knife. She squinted a little, and rubbed her eyes. The smell of coffee hung about the air, and it was all she could do to stop herself from licking her lips, it smelt so good.

**********************************

She ambled slowly and silently up behind Carter, a hand gently resting over her wound. He was standing over some toasted bagels, singing under his breath, though Abby could make out the words…

"You've already won me over, in spite of me, and don't be alarmed if I fall…"

She smiled.

"Alanis Morissette?" She smiled as he dropped his buttery knife. It landed with a clatter on the work surface.

He turned to face her, breathing heavily. 

"You gave me the fright of my life." He paused, then added, protectively, "What are you doing out of bed?" 

"I smelled coffee."

He handed her a cup, and they exchanged smiles.

"You feel any better?"

She nodded, and cradled the little cup in her hands. It was true; she did feel a little better. She could walk unaided, though not without pain. The long sleep had done her the world of good

Abby suddenly registered the paper bag on the work surface, and the cardboard cup-holder that Carter's own cup nestled in.

"You went out to get coffee?"

"Yeah. You were sleeping, and I…Well I couldn't, so I went for a walk. I got bagels, too."

She took a long sip, and sighed with content.

"What time is it?"

He checked his watch.

"Almost five. What do you want to do this afternoon? I have five hours till my shift." 

She shrugged.

"We could go out, catch a movie, grab a meal?" 

Abby raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at her lips.

"What?" Carter hadn't realised that he had just asked her on what sounded suspiciously like a date.

She didn't let on. "Never mind"

A big grin split Carter's face. "What?" 

She took another long sip, still staring at him.

He took her silence as a no; she didn't want to go out.

"Oh-Kay, how about we stay here? I could cook something…"

She was seriously fed up with her flat.

"Let's go out." 

"Where to?"

"I don't care. Let's just _go_" 

"Alright… But, are you sure you're up to it?"

"I'm fine, let's go."

He cocked his head to one side.

"You might want to go get dressed."

She looked down at her sleep shirt and shorts.

"Right."

"Need any help?"

Carter asked, half practical, half playful

Maybe it was meant to sound like a date, she considered.

Winking, she said "I'll let you know." And with that, she disappeared.

**********************************

Smiling, she changed into a pair of dark bootleg jeans, and a pale blue shirt, with only a twinge of pain. No need to call for Carter, she mused, disappointed. Wait…Why disappointed? She sat for a moment, and thought, trying to sort through her feelings. 

Then it hit her, like a ton of bricks.

_Whoa…_

Was she…falling for him?

What she felt for him, she had never, ever felt before. She felt… It was indescribable. It was…

"Abby?" Carter called from the other room, shaking her back to reality.

It was going to have to wait.

"Coming!"

She pulled her leather jacket from the back of her door, and was soon standing in front of Carter, smiling wide. He took her jacket from her, and held it so she could put it on. 

"Well, where are we going?" he asked, puzzled at the wide grin that lit up her face.

"Dunno." She shrugged. "Come on."

He threw on his own jacket, and they left, though neither had any idea where they were going.

**********************************

  After wandering aimlessly for almost an hour, they ended up in a tiny café. It was quiet, and Carter was glad of it. It would be nice to spend some time with Abby when she wasn't sleeping, or hiding, or crying. In fact, he thought, this was the happiest he'd seen her in a while.

The waitress came over, and they ordered

"A cheese-burger and fries for me, and the lady will have…" He looked over at her, and she stared back, lost once more in her thoughts.

"…Abby?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm not hungry, thank you."

"She'll have the same. And two shakes."

The waitress, only a little confused, scribbled down their order, and left.

"Really, Carter, I'm not hungry."

"Well, all the more for me then." He scanned the Café. 

"Oooh, look, they have a dartboard."

"You play darts…?" There was a curious lilt in her voice.

He beamed a cute, dazzling smile, and got up from the table.

He turned back to her, and shook his head. "Nope."

She watched, curious and bemused, as he picked up the bundle of three darts, stepped up to the little white line, and threw one. It bounced of the wall a foot below the board.

Abby laughed hysterically. So much that it hurt and she had to stop.

"Hey! Don't laugh!" he acted hurt and wounded, but she just shook her head in disbelief.

He stepped up and tried again. This time the dart hit the bottom of the board, just below the metal '3'. It hung there for a moment, precariously balanced, before dropping out and hitting the floor.

He looked over to Abby expectantly. "Do I get any points for that?" She collapsed once more into giggles. 

"Ok, this isn't right." He started examining the final dart. "These must be faulty or something, I don't know…" 

She sighed and stood up. "Step aside." 

He looked at her and frowned. 

She held out her hand, and he placed the final dart inside. 

"Now, watch and learn."

She threw the dart with grace and precision. It flew to the board and struck it solid in the black area below the '20'.

He raised his eyebrows, impressed. 

"You play darts." 

She shrugged.

"We had a board in our dorm room in college."

He bestowed upon her a stunning smile that seemed to involve every inch of his face.

"Every day, I learn something new about you, Miss Lockheart."

**********************************

Carter collected the darts, his from the floor, and hers from the board.

"Let me have another go." 

She stood back, motioning him to take her place. "Be my guest."

He concentrated intently; his eyes squinting at his target, his tongue subconsciously poking from the corner of his lips. He drew his arm back and…

The dart flew straight…

Straight into the wall above the board.

"Damn! Thought I had it that time."

"Never mind…" Abby managed through sniggering. 

He frowned at her.

"Show me."

She composed herself.

"What?"

"Show me how to do it."

"You want me to teach you how to play darts?"

"Yeah, Come on."

She stood up, and walked over to him.

"You want me to teach you my well-honed skills, and impart on you my well kept secrets?"

"Yeah."

She stood on tip-toe and whispered in his ear. "If I told you I'd have to kill you."

"I'll swear to secrecy."

She stepped back, looked up into his big brown eyes and sighed.

"Ok. But if some unsavoury people kidnap you and try to make you talk, it's not my fault." She held up her hands.

"Your secrets that good, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

She took the other darts from him, and he watched her intently.

**********************************

They played darts till the food arrived, then sat down to eat.

Carter tucked ravenously into his cheese-burger, aware that all he had eaten in the last 24 hours was half a bagel.

Abby just absently picked at her fries, lost once more in thoughts of Carter, and Luka.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?" Carter said, between mouthfuls of burger.

"Oh no. In fact, she encouraged it." Half a smile took hold of her lips, but she continued to fiddle aimlessly with the fries.

Carter looked worried, then softly said, "You really should eat something, you know."

She winced. "I don't feel like eating."

Carter almost dropped his burger. "Are you in pain? Because if you are-"

"-I'm fine. I'm just not hungry, 'sall."

Carter eyed her, suspiciously.

She tried to explain. "I can't eat, when I have too many thoughts." She tapped the side of her head, illustrating her point.

Carter pulled an 'I-Beg-your-pardon?' face, half serious, half laughing.

"Too many…thoughts?" 

"Yeah. Like about Luka, and…" She looked up into his big, deep, soft brown eyes, but finding the feeling that hit her too strong to bear, resumed the harassment of her fries. 

'_And you,' she said, though not out loud._

"Oh." Carter understood now. She'd been through a lot in the past few days, and surely it must have taken its toll. 

"How about we finish this, and then take a walk along by the lake?" He checked his watch. Almost nine. "It's really lovely this time of the evening."

"Yeah. Might help me get my head straight." She picked up the shake, and slurped on it. She hoped it would.

**********************************

They ambled along in silence, enjoying the cool evening. 

Abby inhaled and exhaled, hoping the air would do something to help her think straight. 

She had just split up with Luka, not three days ago, and here she was contemplating the fact that she might be falling in love.

With Carter.

She looked sideways at him.

_Did he feel the same?_

He caught her staring, and smiled at her.

She blushed and looked away.

No, probably not. To him, they were probably just friends. 

**********************************

_Did she just blush? Carter thought she did, but couldn't be sure. The light from the streetlamp was too dim and yellow to see properly, but…_

Abby was now completely preoccupied with the ground just ahead of her feet. Her dark hair covered the side of her face, and Carter could not see the expression on her face. He could sense, however, that she was troubled.

"What is it?" 

She stopped and leant on the rail that overlooked the water.

"Nothing."

He stopped next to her, but instead of following her gaze out over the lake, he fixed his eyes on her.

"Do you want him back?"

Abby gave Carter a confused look.

"What? Who?"

"Luka."

She resumed staring out over the lake.

"No." 

"Good…" Carter blurted, without thinking.

"Why?"

It was Carter's turn to stare at the floor. 

He dodged the question. "It's almost ten. Do you want me to walk you home before my shift?" 

She noticed the dodge, and a tiny half smile tugged at her mouth.

"It's ok. I'll walk with you to the ER and then I'll walk home."

"Are you sure? 'Cause its ok."

"I would like to see Susan, if she's on. Say thanks, you know, for sitting with me." 

"Alright, but I'll walk you home on my break."

"I'm ok to walk home on my own."

"I know."

She nodded.

Carter held out his elbow, and she slid her arm through. They set off towards the ER, arm in arm.

**********************************

Abby explained to Carter, on the way over, how she didn't want everyone to see her in the ER tonight.

"You mean Luka?" Carter asked

"Not just Luka. I don't want to have to answer a bunch of questions, that's all. If I sneak into the lounge, will you tell Susan that I'm there?"

"Sure."


	8. Wanted Chapter 8

**********************************

Abby only had to wait in the lounge for a few minutes before Susan appeared. 

"Hey, Abby!" Susan beamed. "How are you feeling?" They embraced, and Susan squeezed her tight.

"Better, thanks. I just wanted to say, um, thanks, for standing up for me, with Luka. And for sitting with me while Carter was out." Abby smiled, grateful. 

Susan squeezed her elbow affectionately.

"No problem. You had us all worried! Listen, I'm off now, so if you want to go somewhere, grab a bite to eat, talk a little?"

"Well, Carter and I just ate…" It was half true. 

Susan looked deflated.

"But I could sure use some talking." Maybe Susan could help her sort her muddled head out. 

Susan's expression sky-rocketed in an instant.

"Do you want to get a drink?

"I wouldn't say no to a coffee…"

"Ok." She took off her white coat and threw on a heavy grey jacket. They started for the door, but Abby paused. Susan turned and looked at her, frowning.

"What is it?"

 She jerked her thumb in the direction of the door. "Should I go tell Carter?" Seeing the puzzled look on Susan's face, she explained.

"He wanted to walk me home in his break. I should tell him what's happening."

"Sure. I'll wait."

"Only… I don't want to go out there. Would you…?"

"No problem. What do you want me to say?"

"Just tell him what's happening, and to call me when his shift finishes."

"Got it. I'll be two seconds."

**********************************

Susan found him treating a little girl with a broken leg. 

"Hey, Susan! Annie, this is Susan."

Susan smiled, and waved. "Hi Annie, How're you?"

The little girl waved back, said nothing.

Carter said in a stage whisper, "She's shy.", and the little girl giggled.

"Carter, Abby and I are going out for coffee. She said for you to call her when your shift finishes."

"Annie, can you hold on for one minute?"

The little girl nodded.

They walked a little way away.

"I was supposed to walk her home on my break. Is she ok?"

"She's fine. I'll make sure that she gets home safe."

Carter was reluctant, but if that's what Abby wanted. "Ok. Look after her?"

"Sure, Carter."

Carter returned to the little girl, and Susan walked, bemused, back to the lounge. 

**********************************

"What happened?" Sitting in Doc Magoo's, across from Abby, Susan held the coffee cup in her hands.

"Where do you want me to begin? It's such a mess, Susan." Abby swirled the black liquid in front of her with a spoon.

"How about, you start at the beginning. What happened with Luka?"

Abby dropped the spoon into the cup, linked her fingers together, rested her elbows on the table, and began to talk. She explained about how she had found Luka with Rose, how Luka had attacked Carter because he was protecting her.

"So that's what happened between Luka and me…"

Susan sat, stunned into silence.

"Wow."

"I know."

"Are you ok? I mean, with all this?"

Abby shrugged.

"Do you want me to talk to Luka? Get him to leave you alone?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. Carter tried, and look at what happened."

Susan sighed.

"How's the-" Susan nodded towards Abby's stomach. 

"It's much better. Carter wanted to give me pain meds but I wouldn't let him."

Susan half smiled. "Ok, give it up. What's the deal with you and Carter?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Abby stated, unconvincingly.

Susan pressed further.

"Well, you two arrived together earlier. He barely left your side when you were in the ER,-" 

Abby interrupted her. "He's a friend…"

"Uh huh." Susan was sarcastic.

"He is!" She paused, and took a deep breath. "But…" 

"But…?"

Abby exhaled slowly. "Ok. Here's how it is. Luka and I split up less than a week ago. And now…This is totally unlike me…I think that…maybe…"

"Come on Abby, what is it?" 

"Maybe…I might be falling in love with him…"

Susan was confused. "Who… Luka?"

Abby shook her head. Her eyes stared straight at Susan.

"Oh my god…Carter?"

Abby nodded this time, the corner of her mouth twitching a little.

"What?" Susan was trying hard not to smile.

"I'm hopeless."

They laughed together for a moment. 

"What are you going to do? Does he know?"

"Why, do you think I should tell him?"

Susan nodded. "I think it might be a start."

"Well, what happens if he doesn't feel the same?"

"You'll spend your life thinking 'what if?' if you don't do something." 

Abby looked at Susan, and sighed.

"I know you're right, I honestly do, but…I think that I'd rather have Carter as a friend, than jeopardise that by telling him how I feel."

Susan considered this.

"How do you know he doesn't feel the same?"

Abby gave a small shake of the head.

"He doesn't, Susan."

"Are you sure?"

Abby thought about how he had looked after her, just because it happened to be him she crashed into. She thought about how he had protected her from Luka, about how he had promised he would come back. Always.

"Abby?" Susan tapped her gently on the elbow. "You ok?"

She shook her head and blinked a couple of times. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just, thinking."

Susan smiled and stared out of the window.

"You know, just for the record, I think Carter is madly in love with you." The words rolled off Susan's tongue, almost conversationally. It was like she had said 'Oh look, it's raining,'…or …'Another cup of coffee, please.'

Abby raised a questioning eyebrow. "He is?"

Susan looked Abby square in the face now, and the flippant tone was gone from her voice.

"Totally."

Abby was surprised by her certainty.

"Then you think I should…"

"I think you need to." 

Abby resigned herself to her fate.

"Ok."

She yawned. Jeez, being in hospital really took it out of a girl.

"Do you want to go home? I promised Carter I'd walk you."

"You don't have to, you know."

"I don't mind, honestly."

Abby nodded and began to fish around in her pocket for some money, but Susan stopped her.

"It's on me."

"Thanks. My shout next time."

Susan smiled. "I'll hold you to that."

They pulled on their jackets, and headed out the door


	9. Wanted Chapter 9

**********************************

Abby crawled into bed, but, once there, she found that sleep didn't come. She lay in the dark for almost an hour, a carousel of thoughts spinning unrelenting in her head.

_It's no good. _

She climbed out of bed, and moved to the couch, close to the phone.

She checked the clock. Almost midnight. _Only another, ooh, eight hours till he calls._

She couldn't believe that she was sitting by the phone, waiting for a guy to call. She felt like a schoolgirl again. 

She pulled the blanket around her that Carter had slept under. It still had the warm, safe smell trapped inside it, and she inhaled deeply. She curled up underneath it to wait.

She was soon engulfed by the sweet fingers of sleep.

**********************************

He arrived home at eight thirty. The little red light on his machine was blinking. He hit the button and waited.

_"John, I do hope you haven't forgotten about the function on the 25th…" His mind raced. He suddenly remembered booking the evening of the 25th off, but it had slipped his mind since, what with Abby being in hospital.__ He checked the date on his watch. The 25th.  He cursed._

_"And I presume you'll be bringing a lady this time? It did look awful when you arrived unescorted last time." Gamma!_

_"I'll see you then, John." The machine clicked off._

"Damnit!" He thought for a moment. Who was he going to take at such short notice? His mind instantly flew to Abby. 

But was she well enough? 

There was only one way to find out.

The phone rang three times before she picked up.

"Carter?" she sounded sleepy.

"Did I wake you? You said to call when my shift finished."

"No, you didn't wake me." She was lying, of course.

"How are you feeling?"

She mentally checked herself over.

"Fine. I think maybe I can go back to work tonight."

"Uh huh. Or, you could come to a really dull charity function that completely slipped my mind till a few moments ago." The words came out kind of garbled, but she got the idea, and her heart soared.

"You want me to be your date?"

She could almost hear him blush, and there was a long pause.

"Yes."

"What time are you going to pick me up?"

She definitely heard him sigh.

"About seven thirty? I mean, if you feel up to it."

"What am I supposed to wear?" 

"It's a formal do, so…"

"I get it. Seven thirty, then."

"You sure you're up to this?"

"Yep. See you tonight." The phone clicked and buzzed in Carter's ear, and he hung up.

His vision started to fuzz as he realised he hadn't slept in twenty-four hours. He made it to his bed and crashed.

**********************************

He was at her door at seven-thirty on the dot, dressed in a sharp black tux and bow tie.

He was completely unprepared for the sight that met him as she opened the door.

She stood there, beaming a trademark smile at him.

His eyes took in every inch of her. 

She was wearing a perfectly fitting off-the-shoulder red dress that finished just above her knees.

Her hair was piled up atop her head, but little curls seemed to have escaped and were creeping down her neck.

He found himself breathless, and at a loss for words.

"I'll just grab my purse."

She turned around, and Carter could not believe his eyes. The back of the dress was cut into a V that met in the small of her back. 

He managed one word.

"Wow."

She pretended not to have heard, and carried on into her bedroom.

"Well?" 

Susan was sat on the edge of Abby's bed.

"I think he likes it."

Susan smiled the smile of a co-conspirator.

"I said he'd like the red one."

"Have you seen my purse?"

"Over on the dresser. I'll wait for a minute so he doesn't see me. I'll lock the door behind me."

"Thanks. I really appreciate the help."

"Good luck." Susan grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"I think I'll need it."

She returned to the door, and to Carter, who had regained his breath and his power of speech.

"You look amazing. Really, really, amazing."

"You don't scrub up too bad yourself, Dr Carter. Love the tux. So very double-oh-seven." She winked.

"I guess that makes you Pussy Galore." Carter managed, in a very poor British accent. 

She raised an eyebrow and he changed the subject. Quickly.

"Ready?"

"You bet."

**********************************

"Well? What do you think?"

It was Abby's turn to be gobsmacked. Waiting in the street for them was a black stretch limousine, complete with driver.

She looked at Carter, then back to the limousine.

"I've never been in a limousine before."

He gestured to the door that the driver was holding open. "Hop in."

She slid herself onto the leather seat surprisingly gracefully, considering the dress.

He slid in next to her, and the driver shut the door behind them.

"Where is it we are supposed to be going?"

"I have to make an appearance at this charity function, and Gamma insisted I bring a date this time."

So it wasn't his choice to take her with him. "Oh." 

Carter saw her face fall.

"Not that I didn't want to bring you. I mean, miss the chance to see you almost wearing that dress?"

She brightened a little, and poked him playfully in the ribs.

"Ow! Hey, go easy, would ya?!" 


	10. Wanted Chapter 10 yay! double figures!

**********************************

As they walked in, a very nervous Abby slipped her hand inside his, and he squeezed it tight.

Gamma bustled up to them, and barely seemed to notice Abby. "John! I honestly thought you'd forgotten!" She registered Abby, and looked her up and down.

"Who's this, John?"

"This, Gamma, is Abby Lockheart. Abby, this is my grandmother."

Abby held out her ever so slightly shaking hand.

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am."

Gamma took it and smiled, though not with her eyes.

"I have to go and greet Miss Allen, from the Dirsanté foundation." And she bustled away again.

"Is she always that…brief?" Abby was pretty sure Gamma didn't like her.

"She organised this. She's just being a good hostess." Carter didn't let on, but he didn't think Gamma liked Abby either.

**********************************

"Care to dance?" Carter held out his hand to Abby, and she took it.

He led her onto the dance floor, and placed his other hand on her waist as she put her hand on his shoulder.

For a while they danced in silence, at arms length away, each afraid to pull the other closer, afraid of what they might ruin. 

Abby was the first to break the silence. She could stand it no longer.

"What are we doing?"

Carter looked at her with those big brown eyes and frowned.

"I believe they call it dancing."

"No, I mean us. What are we doing?"

The corner of Carter's mouth twitched, but he held her gaze. He slid his hand to the small of her back, pulling her closer. Close enough to whisper in her ear, so his warm breath tickled her.

"I have no idea."

Her head was resting on the front of his shoulder, her hand somewhere by the nape of his neck.

She whispered back. 

"I guess we're just dancing, then."

**********************************

They stood outside, waiting for the car to come around. 

Abby was mentally cursing herself. They'd barely spoken since that dance.

Why'd she have to go and ask that? _What are we doing?_!

Carter was confused. She had been so quiet, since that dance, and he was beginning to think he'd done something to anger her.

"Are you ok?" He asked, tentatively.

"I'm fine."

"Ok. Are you angry with me?"

Abby was taken aback. _Angry with him?_

"God no, Carter! Why-"

"Because you've barely spoken since we were dancing."

Maybe the silence was one-sided. _Great, Abby, make it better by ignoring him._

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"Shall we walk home? It's a wonderful night."

"Yeah."

He took her hand, and they walked off into the darkness.

**********************************

"What did you mean, when you asked 'what are we doing?'?" Carter said, after rehearsing it in his head for the past three blocks. He said it without looking at Abby, afraid that this conversation could go very badly.

"I just meant, you know, us." She stammered. Why was this making her so damned nervous?

"Us?" 

"I missed you when you were at work." It was the best she could manage.

Carter gave her a sly sideways glance. She looked so nervous.

"You did?"

She nodded.

_Ok. Here goes nothing… She inhaled, turned to face him, and exhaled just as quickly._

"Carter, I have to say something, right now, before we take another step down this road."

Carter turned to her, surprised by the sudden outburst. "Oh-Kay…" _Oh god, was this where she told him that they could never be anything more than friends?_

"I have to tell you this right now, and I am so scared about what you could say."

She held out her hand. "Look at me. I'm shaking."

Carter wrapped both her hands in his, and smiled. 

She took a deep breath.

"I broke up with Luka, just a few days ago."

"I remember." 

"This is so unlike me." She muttered, almost to herself.

"Uh huh…"

She laughed a nervous laugh. "I think that…" She swallowed hard. "I think that I'm beginning to fall…" She paused.

Carter's heart caught in his throat, and he realised that he wasn't breathing. He looked at her with his big dark eyes, and her own eyes began to burn.

"I think I'm beginning to fall in love with you, John Carter." The words came easy, and they felt right as they rolled off her tongue.

Carter blinked. And then he blinked again, as if he thought he was in the middle of a strange dream. 

"Pardon?" He spluttered.

Abby suddenly became very embarrassed. She clapped a hand to her mouth and spoke quickly through her fingers.

"Oh my god. I am so sorry. I should never have said that. I am sorry." She turned from him, and walked as fast as she could, away.

He tried to chase after her, but his feet were rooted to the spot in shock. All he could do was watch her disappear into the darkness.

**********************************

She crashed through the door to her apartment in floods of tears, cursing.

Slamming the door behind her, she leant against it, and sunk to the floor, head in her hands.

_What the hell did she just do? Why? Why?!?_

Had she just thrown away her best friend?

Her answer machine was beeping, and she reached up and hit the button.

Carter's voice came on.

_"So you've not gotten home yet. Ok. Abby, when you do, don't move. I'm coming right over."_

The machine clicked off.

She sniffed, and tried to wipe her eyes. She didn't want him to see she had been crying about it.

There was a light tapping on the door.

"Abby?"

She didn't answer, but stood up and moved to the mirror. Her mascara had left dark smudges beneath her lashes, and long trails ran down her cheeks.

"Abby, are you there? Open up, we have to talk. I didn't mean to… It was just a shock, that's all."

She rummaged for a tissue, and managed to clean off most of it. She didn't look like some weird gothic clown, anyway.

"I mean, I never, ever thought I'd hear you say that to me."

Abby stopped dead, frozen. "What?" She words were shaking, like her body.

"Do you want to open the door?"

She did as he suggested, and they stood at the door for a moment, just staring at each other.

Carter raised a hand to her face, but she pulled away. "Have you been crying?"

"No."

_Liar, Carter thought. "Can I come in?"_

"I guess." She turned her back on him, and walked a few steps, and stopped, with her back to him. 

He closed the door behind him, walked up to her, and put his hands on her bare shoulders, but she shrugged him off.

"Abby…"

"I should never have said anything." She blurted, eyes filling up once more.

"You remember the day we met? You ran into me outside the ER. I remember it like it was yesterday. You know why?"

She turned round, slowly, and shook her head. 

"Because, ever since, I have dreamed of hearing you say what you said tonight."


	11. Wanted Chapter 11

**********************************

JUNE 4TH – HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOAH WYLE!!!!!

He got married on my birthday, don't you know!

The song that I refer to is 'Head over Feet' Alanis Morissette Excellent song….

**********************************

She stared wide eyed, at him, but he carried on.

"But when you started seeing Luka, it made me think that I'd never hear you say it, and that's why I reacted the way I did. It was pure shock, and I'm sorry."

Abby made a kind of garbled squeak, and fought the urge to throw her arms around his neck.

Her eyes fell on his face, willing it to mimic her wide grin, but she could still see trouble in his eyes.

"I didn't mean to run out-"

Carter interrupted her. "Did you mean it?" 

She took a deep breath.

"Carter, I have spent the better part of two days working out what I want. And it seems I have, finally."

"And what's that?"

"I want you." It was so simple, and so true. 

She suddenly felt him wrap her up in his arms and lift her off the ground, whirling her around once, and then setting her down once more.

He cleared his throat, and stepped back.

"Sorry."

She looked into his brown eyes and her knees turned to jello.

"Kiss me, Carter."

He didn't need telling twice.

He gently placed his warm hands on the sides of her face, and lent in slowly. Their lips touched, and Abby felt sparks fly.

She pulled away. The taste of him still lingered on her lips.

Carter looked hurt. "What? What's the matter?"

She held up a finger.

Carter tilted his head to one side and watched her, half amused, half disappointed. 

"Ab-by…" He whined.

"I was just saving the moment. I don't think I've ever felt this…" she searched for the word, but never found it. Carter kissed her lips again, softly.

He whispered.

"I know exactly what you mean."

He rested his forehead against hers, breathing lightly. 

He lifted his hand and tenderly placed his fingers on her lips.

"I love you, Abby Lockheart."

A small tear rolled down her face, and she brushed it away.

He pulled back in shock.

"Did I say something wrong?" 

She shook her head, and placed her hand on his chest.

"…mean it?" Her voice was suddenly mousy and small.

"Yes."

The urge overcame her and she flung her arms around his neck, pulling him into a passionate kiss.

_Your love is thick, _

_And it's swallowed me whole,_

_You're so much braver,_

_Than I gave you credit for _

_That's not lip-service…_

He picked her up, and she locked her legs around his waist, kicking off her shoes. Not once did their lips part.

_You've already won me over, _

_In spite of me, _

_And don't be alarmed if I fall, _

_Head over feet,_

She reached behind her head with one hand to release her hair. It fell upon her shoulders.

_And don't be surprised if I love you,_

_For all that you are,_

_I couldn't help it, _

_It's all your fault… _

"Are you sure…?" Carter was looking up at her, which seemed strange to both of them.

She nodded.

Carter carried her into the bedroom, never taking his eyes off of hers.

**********************************

She yawned, and tried to stretch. 

A warm arm around her waist stopped her.

Gently and silently she turned over to face him. His eyes were shut, still sleeping, and his chest rose and fell with his breathing.

She watched him for what seemed like forever, willing him to wake, but not having the heart to do it herself.

Then the phone rang.

She dived from the bed as swiftly and gently as she could, but he was already blinking back sleep by the time she reached the receiver.

"Hello?"

_"Well?" _

It could only be one person. "Susan?" 

_"How'd it go?"_

Carter came out of her bedroom in only his boxers, and, smiling, tossed her the lavender robe. It wasn't till then that she realised that she wasn't wearing anything at all.

Susan sighed._ "Tell me you told him…"_

"There was some telling involved…" Abby tucked the phone into her shoulder and pulled on the robe.

Carter leant on the doorframe, raising an eyebrow, intrigued by the conversation.

Catching his expression, she added,

"Can we talk later?"

_"Am I interrupting something?"_

"Later, yes?" she forced, trying to fob her off with excuses.

_"Ok, but if he's there, tell him Weaver is gunning for him. He was supposed to be here over an hour ago."_

"I'll tell hi-" She had said it before she realised.

_"Gotcha! So it went well-"_

Abby hung up the phone.

She smiled at Carter and did her best to look innocent. "Ok, so Susan knows."

Carter shrugged as he walked towards her. "Ok."

"You're not mad?"

"Should I be?"

"No."

He kissed her.

"Just Susan, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ok."

She snapped her fingers. "Oh, I almost forgot. Your shift started an hour ago."

"What?!?" He glanced at his watch. "Oh bloody hell…"

"How terribly British!" She jabbed him in the ribs with her finger.

He smiled. He wished he could stay here with her, but duty called.

"Have you seen my shirt?"

"Mmm, try the bedroom floor. Coffee?"

"Please."

He kissed her again, because now that he could, he never wanted to stop.

She disappeared into the kitchen; He went to find his shirt. Then, it dawned on him. All he had to wear was last night's tux. _He was gonna get some stick for this one, for sure_.

**********************************

He reappeared from the bedroom, and was greeted by coffee, toast, and, most importantly, Abby.

She began to giggle. "I forgot that's all you had. Ohhh, they'll tear you to shreds…"

"I know." He took a sip of coffee, a bite of toast. "I have to go." He kissed her goodbye, got as far as the door, and turned back to her.

"Forget something?" She looked at him, confused.

He walked up to her once more and took her face in his hands.

"I love you. See you later?"

"I'll call you at work."

"Ok"

He kissed her properly, and left, leaving that sweet taste on her lips once more.

**********************************

"Carter! You're late! Where the hell have you been?" Kerry glared at him.

"I'm sorry, I overslept."

Susan, nearby, shot him a smug smile, which Kerry totally missed.

"And what do you think you look like? Halloween was four months ago!"

"I know, I…Never mind."

"Whatever. At least you're here. Susan, Call Abby, tell her she's working tomorrow. I'm going home." With that she vanished into the lounge.

"Hi Carter." Susan was still wearing that smug smile.

"Susan." Carter nodded his greeting.

She cocked her head to one side. "Have fun last night?"

Carter looked around him; checking no-one else was within earshot.

"I know you know about… Abby and I."

She clicked her fingers. "Damn." Sarcasm tinged her voice, and Carter smiled.

"Good evening, Mr Bond, We have been expecting you…" Jerry attempted the same impression that the man sweeping the sidewalk had, and the security guard, and the cop.

"Shut up, Jerry." Carter said automatically, no malice in his tone. He grabbed his charts, and wandered off, humming a tune, smile on his face.

Jerry turned to Susan "What's up with him?"

Susan shrugged elaborately. "I'm off. Have a good day, Jerry…"


	12. Wanted Chapter 12

**********************************

"Dr Carter! Phone call for you…" Jerry yelled a couple of hours later.

"Hang on..." Carter raced across the ER, and grabbed the phone from Jerry's big meaty hand.

"Hello?"

He listened for a moment, and heard Abby's voice greet him. He noticed that Jerry was hovering at his shoulder.

He muttered "One minute…"

He covered the mouthpiece and gave Jerry a look that said _'excuse me.'_

Jerry held up his hands and busied himself with the filing on the other side of the admit desk.

"Hi."

_"Hey. How's it going?"_

"Apart from the fact you're not here, it's good. Nothing major as yet."

_"See you when you finish? I could meet you at your place…"_

"Yeah. Sophia should be there. She'll let you in. Come by if she's not and I'll give you the key."

_"Ok. You want me to pick up some food?"_

"Ok. See you then."

_"Love you." She hung up._

"New girlfriend?" Jerry smirked at Carter. 

Carter attempted the blankest of blank looks. "What?"

"Who is she? Is she hot?" Jerry was gagging for the tiniest piece of information.

Carter sighed with relief. He hadn't recognised her voice, at least. Smiling broadly, he just walked off, leaving Jerry to drive himself crazy with not knowing.

"Come on, Dr Carter! You can tell me…" Jerry shouted after him, but he was gone.

**********************************

"Hey, Haleh, Do you know anything about Carter's new girlfriend?" Jerry had been fishing for information all day.

"New girlfriend? No, why? Is it someone here? Oooh, come on, give."

"I don't know. But I think so. Any ideas?"

Malik wandered over.

"What's this?"

"Jerry thinks Dr Carter has a new girlfriend, and that it's someone here."

"Chuny."

Jerry laughed. "No way. More likely Dr Lewis…"

Malik smiled. "Care to put your money where your mouth is?"

 "Twenty American dollars says that it's Lewis." Jerry held out his hand.

Malik took it and shook it. "You're on." 

Haleh piped up. "Is this a private book, or can anyone join?"

"Why, who'd you think?"

"Abby."

The men laughed. Jerry said "No way. She's with Covac, anyway."

"Not any more."

Malik raised his eyebrows "Still, Abby and Carter?"

"Twenty bucks, wasn't it?"

"It's your money…"

**********************************

The next day Abby and Carter were careful not to arrive together. They agreed that a five minute gap would be adequate. Abby entered first, mentally preparing herself for all the 'How are you?'s' and the 'Good to see you back's'

"Hey Abby, how're you feeling?" Haleh went first.

"Good, thanks…"

"Hey Abby, can you start a line on Mr Hall in 3? I'll be right there." 

She knew that Susan only wanted to get her alone so she could bug her for details of the past two nights, but Abby didn't mind. "Sure." Abby disappeared.

Haleh smiled. "She looks much better."

"She does."

Carter wandered in, grinning, a bakery box tucked under his arm.

"Good morning, everyone. Look, I bought donuts!"

Susan had noted their staggered entrance, and smiled.

"Wow!" Jerry was in the box almost before he put it down. "Whoever she is, I hope she keeps you in this mood. Mmm, custard. Perfect!"

Carter tilted his head and smirked at the man who now had half a donut in his mouth.

"Morning, Dr Carter." Haleh called.

"Good morning Haleh, and how're you?" his voice bounced with enthusiasm.

"Fine…"He beamed at her. Oh, there was definitely a woman in his life.

**********************************

"It looks like a ruptured ulcer." Carter stood outside an exam room, discussing a patient with Susan.

 "Definitely. Should I call for a surgical consult?"

"Yeah, I think-" Carter jumped suddenly, and whirled just in time to see Abby disappear around a corner.

Susan sniggered. "You two are like a couple of teenagers. Did she just…?"

"She pinched me." Carter whined, but was half laughing too. 

**********************************

He caught up to her later on, walking down an almost empty corridor.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself."

"You on a break?" There was a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Yeah. Just going out to get coffee. You want some?"

"I have a better idea."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her into an empty exam room, locking the door behind them.

**********************************

"Chuny, Is exam 1 empty?" Susan called.

Chuny shrugged. "Um, I'll go check, if you like."

"Thanks Chuny." Susan answered as Chuny disappeared.

Abby shushed Carter, gesturing emphatically to the door. He heard someone try the door again, and understood. Abby leapt off the gurney – and Carter- and pulled on her scrub top. She then set about trying to find her shoe.

Carter found his shirt, and began the hunt for his tie. 

She turned to him and he turned to her, and simultaneously they mouthed "Where's my shoe?" And "Where's my tie?"

 "Locked?" Chuny muttered to herself. 

They returned to their searches, franticly tearing around the room.

Carter found Abby's shoe on the top of a cabinet, Abby found Carter's tie draped over an IV pole in the corner. 

She knocked lightly on the door. "Hello? Is there someone in there?"

Abby mouthed "Chuny", and Carter sighed. At least it wasn't Weaver. They exchanged their rogue items of clothing, and Abby unlocked the door and stepped outside, much to Chuny's surprise. 

"Hi, Abby. What were you-"

"I have to, um, go, find something. Bye!" And with that she was gone, Chuny standing in the doorway, staring blankly after her.

"Excuse me."

Chuny whirled around, jumping visibly. "Dr Carter…" the small frown she was wearing soon changed to a smile, then into a wide impish grin.

"Are you two…?"

"We were checking the cabinets were stocked." Carter said, thinking on his feet..

Chuny raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And what?" Carter shrugged.

"Are they?"

"Yes." Carter turned to walk away, but she called after him.

"Dr Carter?" 

"Yes?"

"You have a little lipstick on your…" She touched her neck, demonstrating.

He blushed, and started to rub it away. "Thanks…" He stepped up to her and lowered his voice.

"Listen, Chuny, Abby and I…"

"I won't say anything."

"Thanks Chuny. I appreciate it."

**********************************


	13. Wanted Chapter 13

**********************************

In the two weeks that they had been together, Susan and Chuny were still the only people who knew.

Abby was reluctant to tell everyone because of Luka, and Carter respected that.

But it was the annual ER banquet in a week.

"No, Carter! You know we can't go together!"

She almost spilt her coffee in frustration.

"Abby…" He touched her arm soothingly. "Please."

It was at least the third time he had tried to persuade her to be his date, but she wasn't budging. They were sitting in Doc Magoo's, both on a break.

"I know that this means a lot to you, Carter, but I can't, not yet. I'll go, you'll go. But we won't go together. Got that?"

Carter nodded. It made him feel awful to need this so much, but it made him feel worse to fight with Abby. So he nodded.

She reached up and touched his face, affectionately.

"I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready to deal with Luka yet."

"He'll find out eventually, but if that's what you want. One thing though."

"What is it?"

"I get at least one dance."

"At least."

**********************************

He stood in the doorway and surveyed the scene. Colleagues were dotted at various tables; some were standing at the bar.

 His eyes, though, were searching out someone particular. At last he caught sight of her, wearing a burgundy satin evening gown that brushed the floor. A wide shawl was draped across her shoulders. 

She was standing just away from the bar, chatting animatedly to Susan and Haleh. 

He sighed a little and began to walk over to them.

Susan and Haleh saw him first, waving and smiling. Abby turned to see who they were waving at. In one hand she held a purse, in the other a half empty wine glass.

 Carter's eyes snapped to the glass, then to Abby's face, then back to the glass.

He smiled a weak smile to Susan and Haleh. "Can I borrow Abby a moment?"

"Sure!" 

Carter grabbed Abby's elbow roughly and steered her to a relatively quiet area of the room.

"What are you doing?" Carter's tone was harsh.

"What?" Abby was indignant, though her words were slightly slurred.

"You know exactly what I mean. You want to go back to this?" He prised the wine glass from her hand.

 "That's mine, Carter!" She said, though making no attempt to take it back.

"Why, Abby?" His tone was more hurt than angry now.

She looked up into his big brown eyes.

"He knows I'm in Chicago." She blurted, tears forming behind her eyes.

Carter shook his head, frowning.

"I saw him on the street."

"Who, honey?"

"Him."

 The frightened look in her eyes told him everything he needed to know. 

 **********************************

Susan was keeping a watchful eye over Carter and Abby, whilst nodding at various intervals in a conversation with Haleh.

"Are you listening, Susan?"

"Hm? Yes, of course."

Haleh followed Susan's gaze and her eyes fell on Carter and Abby.

"It's so obvious, isn't it?"

Now Susan was paying attention.

"What?"

"Love's young dream over there. Jerry and Malik's money is as good as mine."

"Are you gambling, Haleh?" Susan cocked a half smile at the seasoned nurse. If anyone could read people, it was Haleh.

"I am partial to a little flutter. What's the story then?"

Susan leant in conspiratorially and began to explain.

"Really? Well, I must go and collect my winnings." Haleh started off, but Susan's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"They don't want people to know."

"What? No winnings?"

Susan laughed. "You'll get your winnings, you'll just have to wait a bit, that's all."

**********************************

"When? When did you see him?"

 "On my way here. Please, Carter. Give me back my drink…"

"No. Did he hurt you?" Carter was frantic. "Did he?"

She hung her head, and slowly raised her hand her shoulder, the strap of her dress broken. He had not noticed this before. She pushed that side of the shawl down to her elbow, and Carter felt his breath catch hard in his throat.

A graze covered the top of her shoulder and tore down her arm. Images flashed through Carter's head.

She saw his expression then, and pulled the shawl back onto her shoulder, hiding her pain from view.

"He grabbed me and I fell into a wall. I got up and ran, came straight here."

"Where did you see him?" Carter's voice was a broken whisper, caught and torn by his tongue. 

"What?"

Carter set down the wine glass on a nearby table.

"Where was he?"

"No, Carter."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I know that you'll go and you'll find him and you'll never come back." and that was the last thing she wanted.

"You can't just expect me to let him do this to you? To put you back there? Come on, Abby-"

She cast frightened eyes towards the door, and her defences dropped.

"I'm so scared, Carter. What if he saw me come in here? What if-"

Carter caught Susan's eye across the room, and gestured her over.

"Hey guys, what's up? Listen, Haleh knows. She won't tell any-"

"Susan, I have to go do something. Would you stay here with Abby till I get back? And don't let her drink anymore? Thanks."

"What?" She questioned his condescending instructions, but he was gone. She turned to Abby and saw at once the petrified expression on her face. "God, Abby, what's happened?"

**********************************

Carter stepped outside, and searched the street with his eyes.

Then it occurred to him. He had no idea who he was looking for. He didn't know the guy's name, what he looked like, he didn't know anything. He was just so angry he had raced out here, guns blazing, without a clue.

He sighed.

He wanted to find the guy. 

He wanted to find the guy and kill him with his bare hands. Not for his own mind, but for Abby. Carter could feel her pain when he touched her, and he hated it. She needed this guy out of her life and her mind, so she could let it go and stop being afraid.

But there was nothing he could do, and it was destroying him.

He gulped in a couple of mouthfuls of cold night air, and returned inside.

A pair of hard, cold eyes watched him from the shadows, waiting for their moment. Something glinted in the darkness.

**********************************

"I don't understand… Carter's gone looking for this guy?"

Abby just nodded. 

They were standing in the ladies, Susan's comforting arm around Abby's waist, Abby's head resting on her shoulder.

There was a soft knock on the door, and Carter's voice floated through the door.

"Abby? Susan? Haleh said… Is it ok if I come in?"

Abby said nothing, apparently she hadn't heard him. She was lost in her own frightening world.

Susan turned round and checked the stalls were empty, even though she had done this when she had dragged Abby in here to explain herself, and there had been no-one in here with them the entire time. 

"It's just us." Susan called. Carter pushed open the door, and the slow squeak pulled Abby from her melancholy reverie.

She shot a look at the door, and caught sight of Carter.

A tiny relieved breath escaped her as she raced up to him, throwing her arms around his waist and holding him close. "I'm so glad you're ok." She whispered, into his chest. 

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and the door squeaked closed behind him.

"Are you?" Carter's voice was soft.

"Better now."

Susan couldn't help but ask. "Did you find him?"

Carter looked across at her, and shook his head. "I don't know what I'm looking for."

"Can we go back to the party?" Abby stepped back from Carter, and took his hands in hers.

"Are you sure? I could take you home-"

"I don't want to be scared."

Carter saw the look in her eyes, and understood. Nodding, he held open the door for both Susan and Abby, and then exited himself.

**********************************

Carter was worried about her. Every so often he'd see her throw a nervous glance over her shoulder, or jump at a loud chord in the music.

"Are you sure you don't want to go home?"

Abby looked him in the eye, and it was the strongest she'd seemed all night.

"If I go home, it's giving in. I don't want to give in anymore. Please."

Carter nodded. 

"Do you want to dance?" she smiled. It wasn't her usual sparkling grin, but it was a glimmer. He took her hand and led her onto the dance floor.

They danced the way two friends dance. Abby's hand on his shoulder, His on her waist. 

Suddenly, a hand tapped her on the shoulder, and she whirled around, breathing heavily and panting. When she saw the face belonging to the hand, she stopped breathing all together.

The man grabbed her roughly by the elbow, and hissed. "Hey, baby, why'd you run away?"

"Please, let me go." She pleaded with him.

Carter stepped between them.

"You heard her, back off." Then he said, over his shoulder, to Abby, "Is this him?" Abby just nodded

"Oh, and who's this? You got a bodyguard now, sweetheart?"

"I said, Back off." Carter took a step forward and he released her. His anger turned from Abby to Carter. 

"Who the hell do you think you are? This is between me and her. Step aside." 

"I can't do that." Carter's voice was calm. He didn't want to alarm Abby, so he kept his tone in check. The few people that were dancing near them stopped, and turned to see what the fuss was about.

"This bitch owes me."

Carter flinched at this reference to Abby. His fists balled. "I don't think so."

"Look. All I want to do is take her somewhere we can talk." The guy – Richard - tried a different tactic, but Carter was having none of it.

"I can't let you do that. She stays here"

Richard's hand moved swiftly under his jacket, and came back pointing what Carter soon registered as a revolver. 

"Oh yeah? Well then maybe this will let me." He nodded over Carter's shoulder at Abby "Get over here, bitch."

 "Don't move." Carter said, keeping both eyes on the barrel of that gun, and slowly raising his hands. Abby nodded, though he did not see. Shaking, she was barely visible behind Carter's protective form. She clasped onto his jacket, knuckles white. 

The audience that had now gathered were frozen. Some went for their cell phones, but they were soon halted.

"Drop your phones, or I shoot."

Many plastic thuds filled the air. The band stopped playing, and everyone stood, eyes fixed on this guy with a gun.

"Now, are you gonna let her come with me? Or do I have to get ballistic?"

"She's not going anywhere." 

"She's only gonna get what's coming to her. She left me. Now she has to pay."

Carter couldn't stop himself. "And when do you get what's coming to you?"

Richard's thumb pulled the safety, and it clicked sharply.

"Do you want to take her punishment? 'Cause you're going the right way about it." 

"She doesn't deserve any punishment."

"And what gives you the right to say what she deserves?"

Carter paused.

"I love her. That's more than you ever did."

Richard shifted his weight. "Oh yeah? Do you love her enough to take a bullet for her?"

Carter didn't even flinch.

Richard frowned, still pointing the barrel of the gun accusingly at Carter. "I'm giving you the opportunity to move out of the way. You should take it."

**********************************


	14. Wanted Chapter 14

**********************************

Ok, did the attempt at suspense work? Hope so ;)

Here's where I've chosen to say my 'Thank-you's', cos when you're hyped up on caffeine here seems as good a place as any…

To Valaraiya, for allowing me to gatecrash her house to post new chapters, and for her continued encouragement and confidence in my writing. Much appreciated, my darling, though I don't say so enough… …He does not look like a bear… start running, girlie ;)

To Tawny, for being an absolute star, and for support in the highest degree. _Cheers, babe, love starshine ^-^ p.s, we will teach the birds to sing amazing grace…_

Penguieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen!

To Tarya, for persuading me to keep writing… Thank you. 

To Concubine, Thank you for listening to me talk about ER for… Oh, must be almost three years… thank you for not beating me to death each time I mention Carter. Thank you for understanding me and knowing that I'm not crazy when I blurt things like 'Luka don't dance…" and "Look at me! I'm a skeleton!" and, from time to time, "I'm sorry, I meant to watch La Boehme on PBS last night but I had to go to the symphony…" Love you.

Anyway, back to the story, my friends.

**********************************

"Never."

"As you wish."

Surprisingly calmly, Richard pulled the trigger. Once.

_Bang._

Twice

_Bang._

He turned and bolted from the large silent room, diving out and off into the night.

The first bullet struck Carter in the shoulder, twisting his body violently. Abby screamed. The second struck him in the stomach. Time seemed to stop for a split second as his body straightened, before he crumpled to the floor. 

Abby hit the floor and knelt beside his head, and pulled his head into her lap. His eyelids fluttered, closed, and then opened again.

The couple barely seemed to notice Kerry, Mark, and Susan, almost everyone, rally round.

Someone yelled "Get an ambulance!" 

Carter stared blurrily up at Abby.

"I'm sorry."

Abby gently stroked his hair. He was going into shock; his face was pale.

Kerry was trying to stop the blood loss from his stomach with her jacket. Mark was examining his shoulder wound. Susan was checking his pulse.

"He's tachycardic! He needs fluids and an OR now!"

Kerry nodded.

"Get me some towels from the bar. And check on that ambulance!" Luka, who was standing shocked nearby, obliged, racing over to the stunned bartender.

"Abby!" Mark tried to get her attention. She just stared down at Carter.

"Abby!" She looked up at him long enough for him to know she was listening to him.

"Keep him talking. He needs to stay awake."

She nodded.

"Hey, Carter!" She tried a bright, optimistic tone, though her heart was breaking. She noticed with alarm that his eyes were closed.  "You can't bow out on me now… Come on, Carter…"  She gently brushed his cheek, and his eyes opened again. She sighed, relieved. 

"Hey, Abby… What're you doing here? Work isn't for hours yet…" 

"You can't sleep now, Carter. It's time to stay with me."

Chuny came and knelt the other side of Carter's head.

"But Abby, I'm not going anywhere. Where am I going?"

"It's the shock." Chuny said, softly.

"Carter. Come on. Tell me about when you were a kid." She sniffed back tears.

"Bobby…"

"Who was Bobby, Carter? Tell me about him." 

"Bobby's sick. Mum took him to the hospital. He's sick…"

"Who's Bobby?"

"The doctors said Bobby would be ok. Bobby was very sick."

"Did Bobby die, Carter?"

Before he could answer, two burly male EMT's burst through the door and raced over to them.

Kerry reeled off his injuries as the EMT's, with the help of Mark and Luka, lifted him from the floor onto their gurney.

The first EMT looked at Kerry. "Are you coming with us?"

Mark and Chuny pulled a shaking, confused Abby to her feet. She pulled away from them once she was vertical, and was at the side of Carter's gurney, talking to him once more.

"Yes, and so is she." Kerry ordered, pointing at Abby. The EMT nodded.

Mark nodded. "We'll meet you there." Turning to Luka, Susan, Haleh and Chuny, he motioned for them to follow him. "We'll take my car." No-one objected.

"The rest of you had better hang around. The police are going to want to talk to you."

**********************************

EMT = Paramedic

Tachycardic = fast heart rate due to blood loss.

**********************************

All the way to the hospital Kerry watched the EMT's work, running an IV, doing their best to stop the bleeding.

She also watched Abby, perched as close to Carter as she could get, attentively talking to him, stroking his hair. It seemed she barely noticed the tears that were rolling down her face.

Kerry could see that Abby felt guilty. It was written in the way she moved, her eyes, her face, her voice. Everything about her cried out: _this is my fault._

Kerry had heard most of the exchange before the shooting, and she only partly understood. She wanted to question Abby, but chose not to interrupt her at the moment, though. Soon enough there would be time for explanations and blame.

They passed a different set of sirens and lights hurtling in the opposite direction. _Police, _Kerry thought. It was too late, however. He would be long gone by now.

**********************************

Any medical-ness is from a book called _'the medicine of ER, or how we almost die.' _

- Very useful birthday present from Valaraiya. The pages are dog-eared already…

**********************************

The team covering the ER were waiting, in the ambulance bay. The ambulance carrying Carter pulled up just a few moments before the Mark's car did.

The EMT's pulled the gurney from the back and raced him inside.

 Kerry helped Abby down from the back of the ambulance, and together they hurriedly followed the EMT's and Carter inside.

Susan, Mark, Luka, Haleh and Chuny all piled out of Mark's car and dashed after them

"Randi! What's open?"

"Trauma two is prepped and ready, Dr Greene."

Kerry explained to the team covering the ER that Mark would be taking over, and that the others would be assisting. They stepped aside, though somewhat pissed, and Susan, Mark and Luka pulled on gowns and gloves.

Abby was still beside Carter, holding his hand and talking to him. 

_Six units of o-neg, type and cross…_

"Kerry, can you take Abby and get her checked over?" Mark was working on Carter's stomach.

Kerry nodded.

_CBC, page surgery…_

"Abby, come with me. We'll go and get some coffee. You have to let them work on him now."

_No exit wounds, lets get an x-ray…_

"No, I'll stay here. He needs me. It's all my fault…" She couldn't draw her eyes away from Carter's pale cheeks. His eyes were still open, though, and he was responsive, though it was mostly the shock talking.

Kerry placed a firm hand on her shoulder.

"Come on Abby. There's nothing you can do now."

_We need to find the source of that bleeder…_

 "No."

Carter, hearing Abby's raised voice, tried to focus his hazy vision on her face. "Why are you shouting, Abby? I can hear you."

  "It's Ok, honey, I'm here. You just make sure that you don't fall asleep, ok?"

"Abby." Kerry began to steer Abby around and out the door.

"No! ...No! Kerry, let me go! I have to be with him." Abby was almost screaming as she was pulled away.

**********************************

The pair of them almost fell out of the door, and Kerry walked Abby to the lounge, where she sat her down on the couch.

"Abby, he's strong. He'll be ok…" she sat down next to her, careful to position herself between Abby and the door, in case she made a dash for it.

"Are you ok?" Kerry gently placed a hand on her back to comfort her.

Abby buried her face in her hands. "Oh god, I've screwed it all up."

Kerry wasn't used to this, and was unsure of how to react.

Tentatively she pulled Abby's limp form into a bundle in front of her, and rocked her as she cried. She seemed like a little lost child, searching for something to cling to.

 "He'll be alright. He's with the best."

She could tell, as Abby's racking sobs continued, the only voice she was hearing now was her own accusing conscience inside her head. 

**********************************

Susan hesitantly pushed open the door of the lounge, and found Abby cradled in Kerry's arms. She looked so small and hopeless, and it tore Susan's heart.

Kerry looked up, expectance touching all of her face. Abby heard the door close behind her and glanced up. There were no tears left to cry now, though her eyes were dewy and red rimmed.

"What is it?" Abby sat bolt upright, staring at Susan. She tried hard to read her face, but found no hints. "Is he… Oh god…"

Susan came and crouched in front of them both, and spoke softly. "We stabilised him, and Dr Corday and Dr Romano have taken him up to the OR. We'll know how it went in a few hours. He should be ok."

Relief swallowed Abby whole and she threw her arms around Susan's neck in gratitude. "Thank you so much, Susan."

Susan pulled Abby into a warm hug. "It was a team effort. Luka and Mark…"

"We have a great team…" Kerry said proudly, bestowing an uncharacteristically broad smile on Susan.

Susan nodded her thanks to Kerry and pulled out of the embrace with Abby. "Do you want to go up to the waiting room?"

Abby nodded, and pulled her fingers across her eyes to wipe them dry. Together, Susan and Abby stood. Abby's legs were still shaky, so Susan supported her as best she could.

"Are you coming, Kerry?" Susan asked, when she saw she wasn't moving.

Kerry wanted to go with them, but felt awkward and out of place. Then an idea dawned on her.  "Is there anything you want from home, Abby? I could go get you a change of clothes; you could be here a while." 

Abby smiled frailly, and started to nod, but the nodding soon turned to frantic shaking. "No, it's too dangerous. He might be there. You can't… I can't put you in danger too…" Abby's entire body began to shake, and Susan tried to calm her. 

"It's Ok, Abby. I'll take Luka or Mark. We'll be in and out in ten minutes. Just tell me what you want."

Abby nodded resignedly. "Ok. Take Mark. But be careful. Just grab me something, anything."

"I'll pick us all up something to eat, too. No way am I going to eat cafeteria food…" Abby's smile fleetingly returned, but was soon lost again in fear.

 Kerry touched Abby's arm gently. "I won't be long." With that, she left to find Mark, and Susan and Abby made their way to the surgical waiting room.

**********************************

Dr Elizabeth Corday stepped into the waiting room, and found Abby sleeping on the couch, and Susan nursing a cup of coffee at the table with Kerry. Catching Elizabeth out of the corner of her eye, Susan jumped up. "Is he ok?" She managed to keep her tone quiet, so as not to wake Abby, but only just.

"Is there any family here yet?"

Susan shook her head. "We haven't been able to get hold of them yet. Is he…"

"We took out the bullet in his shoulder, but there was some nerve and tendon damage. We'll have to wait and see how he does." Elizabeth's voice was hushed. "There were extensive internal injuries from the GSW to his abdomen. We pulled the bullet from there, too, and managed to repair the wounds, though. He's not out of the woods yet, but he should be fine. We've moved him to recovery."

"You should tell her." Kerry gestured to the sleeping Abby. 

"Should I wake her?" Elizabeth looked in her direction. She seemed unsettled, despite her slumber.

Susan nodded. "She'd want to know. They're kind-of… involved."

Elizabeth nodded, understanding.

**********************************

Even sleep wasn't a refuge from the incident for Abby. In her troubled dreams she saw the gun, heard the shots, and felt Carter fall at her feet.  She heard someone call her name and the banquet hall swirled and morphed into the waiting room, and she was thankful. 

"…What is it?" Abby blinked, and rubbed her eyes. "Is it Carter?" Sitting up, she tried to register who it was that had woken her. "Dr Corday?"

"Carter is going to be fine. He's gone through to recovery, and should be able to go to ICU soon." Elizabeth smiled. "He's going to be ok. You can go and see him, if you like."

Abby stood unsteadily, straightened out her rumpled clothes, and nodded. 

Suddenly, Elizabeth began to beep. She pulled her pager from her scrub-pants and read. 

"I'm sorry, that's the ER. I have to go… Susan, could you take Abby to see Carter?"

"Sure."

Elizabeth hurried out, and Abby turned to Kerry. 

"You go. I'll stay here, try the family again."

Susan tipped her head questioningly at Kerry.

"It's ok. You two go."

Abby and Susan didn't move.

"Go…" She made shooing motions with her hands. "Go."

Abby walked over to Kerry, her legs still trembling with sleep and relief. 

"Thank you." She squeezed her tight. Kerry was unsure of how to react. Eventually she hugged her back, and Susan looked on in quiet appreciation.

"Now go…" Kerry pulled a hand across her cheek, and If Susan didn't know better, she could have sworn she was wiping away a tear.

**********************************


	15. Wanted Chapter 15

**********************************

Ok. Does anyone have the ER soundtrack? I just got it and I was trying to work out where the last song, _It came upon a midnight clear_ is from. If anyone knows, post it in a review, or email me. I'm not fussy, really.

**********************************

They walked together towards the doors of the recovery room. 

"Listen, Abby. You should come and stay with me. You know, till Carter can come home with you."

Abby hadn't even considered what she was going to do next.

"I'll probably just grab a hotel room-"

"Nonsense. I have plenty of room, and I don't think you need to be alone right now."

Abby nodded. "Thanks."

They rounded the corner and found the double doors that led to the recovery room.

"Here we are. You ready?"

Abby shrugged. Susan opened the door, stepped through, and held it open for Abby.

Abby exhaled, and began to walk down the middle of the ward.

She looked to her left…

_No, that's not him…_

To her right…

_No…_

She reached the middle of the ward, and caught sight of Carter. He was lying, motionless, on the furthest bed, the pasty light of dawn shining on him through the window.

Her stomach churned. 

There were tubes all over him, and he looked so pale. 

Her hands began to shake, but she didn't notice them. The steady beeping of his heart monitor filled her head, and it was all that she could hear. Susan started to explain what Elizabeth had done in surgery, but Abby didn't notice.

She couldn't move any closer, but she couldn't pull away either. She was stuck.

_Carter is lying there…she heard her conscience saying …And_ it's because of you…__

_…This is your fault…_

Abby's eyes were fixed on the rise and fall of Carter's chest. 

_...he could be dead because of you…_

The voice was screaming to be heard over the beeping monitor.

_…This is your fault……You and your past… …This is your fault…_

**********************************

She finally got control of her legs, and bolted. Susan shouted after her, but Abby was gone. Wracked with guilt, she ran for the only place she felt she could go. 

Exhausted, she stumbled out onto the roof.

Instantly she vomited. 

Straightening, she stared out over the waking city, realising now why she had run to the roof. 

She slowly walked towards the low wall that stood between her and oblivion.

Something cold touched her nose, and she stopped, and looked up.

 Snow.

More flakes were landing on her cheeks, and in her eyes. Perfect little flakes. She held out her unsteady palm, and caught a few. They disappeared as she watched, something wonderful turning to nothing. 

She leaned on the wall and looked over, down onto the street below. People were milling about, minding their own business, unaware of her eyes.

She sighed.

"Abby?"

Abby turned around and saw Susan was standing at the top of the stairs.

"Abby?" She said again, unsure of the situation. "What are you doing up here?"

Abby said nothing, just turned back to looking down over the edge.

"… Carter is gonna be ok." Susan took a few steps towards Abby, but didn't crowd her.

Abby whipped around and stared at Susan, with a glare that both frightened and 

un-nerved her.

"He could have died, Susan! He could be lying in the morgue right now!" Abby shouted.

Susan took another step towards Abby. "But he isn't…"

Abby backed up. "And it would be my fault. Don't you see? It's my fault he's laying down there, full of bullet holes, and it would be my fault if he was dead." She screamed these last few words at Susan, clouds of warm misty air billowing from her lips.

"Abby, it's not your fault… The only one to blame is the guy that pointed the gun. No-one else."

"I can't live with this. I can't." Abby's back was pressed against the low wall, torn between facing Carter and facing the pavement.

"Is that why you came up here?" Realisation flickered in Susan's eyes. "You were going to…"

"The man I love almost died because of me. It would be better for everyone if I just…" She turned and looked over her shoulder, down onto the street.

"Don't talk like that, Abby. It would be better for Carter if you went back downstairs. He needs you now, more than ever." Susan was edging gradually closer to Abby, to pull her from the roof, if necessary. Abby, being petite, would be no match for Susan's strength.

"He needs to be able to live his life without having to watch over his shoulder let alone having to watch over me."

 Susan couldn't understand why Abby couldn't see what she could see.

"When he's with you, he's the happiest I've ever seen him. There's a spark in you too, I've noticed." She'd also noticed that it had gone out, these past few hours. "You need to show Richard that you're strong, both of you, together. You can get through this if you let yourself try." There was no response. "Abby…?" 

"I can't… I just-"

"You can, Abby. You can go back down there and you can sit with the man you love and no Son-of-a-bitch is going to stop you." Susan was shouting at her, hoping she could break through the self-pity Abby had built up.

Abby nodded, beginning to come to her senses. Would she really have thrown herself off if Susan hadn't found her? ... The answer chilled her. _Probably. _

She was still numb, from shock, and fear, and she barely felt Susan's hand on her arm. She allowed herself to be guided away from the edge, and Susan to slide a reassuring arm around her waist. 

"Abby?" Susan noticed the distance in her eyes. "You ready to go back downstairs now?" 

She shook her head, with the same glazed expression. "Not yet… Please…"

"There's a bench over there. Let's go sit down for a bit." Susan led her over, talking softly, and sat down next to her.

**********************************

Kerry pulled up a chair next to Carter's bed.

"Hey, Carter." She mumbled awkwardly. "You looked a little lonely here, so I thought I'd… Abby should be back soon. I can't seem to find your parents, though. I will keep trying…"

Cautiously she placed her hand over his, and squeezed it, just to let him know she was there.

She lent back in the chair, and folded her arms across her chest. For a moment she watched the little peaks and troughs on the monitor, finding their regular beep reassuring, almost therapeutic. 

In her head she counted the hours since she had last slept. Somewhere around twenty-eight, her eyes fluttered closed, and she curled over, dozing off.

**********************************

After a long pause, Abby spoke. "I was really going to do it."

Susan put her arm around Abby's shoulders.

"It's Ok."

Abby just seemed to be realising the seriousness of her actions. 

"I almost… I…" 

Susan wasn't sure how to handle this. "Abby… It's all Ok now." The snow was heavier now, and the coldness in the air sent a shiver down Susan's spine. "It's snowing. We should go inside."

Abby barely reacted; she was still coming to terms with the fact that she was that close to jumping. Susan stood and ushered the stunned Abby off the roof and down the stairs.

**********************************

A light sleeper, Kerry jumped up when she heard the doors swing.

"Susan?" Kerry poked her head around the drawn curtain, and saw Susan and Abby ambling up the centre of the ward. 

Suddenly Abby froze. "I can't."

"Yes, you can." Susan gently pushed her forwards, and she moved with her, till they were standing at the foot of Carter's bed.

Abby was staring straight ahead, out of the window, not daring to even glance at Carter. Tears were making riverbeds of her cheeks, and she wanted Carter to wipe them dry.

But he couldn't

"Where was she?" Kerry whispered to Susan, watching Abby's movements intently.

Susan didn't answer. She too was watching Abby with hawk eyes, waiting for her to make a break for the door.

Abby half folded her arms across her front, allowing her hands to grip her elbows, apparently trying to give herself a little reassurance.

She knew that if she turned to look at him now, she could never let him go, and her selfishness could kill them both. So she stood, fixated on some little thing outside.

As she stood, hopelessly trying to stop the tears, Susan's words began playing in her head. _The man you love._

And she did. She loved him with all her heart, and that was something that she could never forget.

And as if someone had reconnected the switchboard in her mind, Abby's love for Carter overcame her fear and her guilt, and slowly but surely she turned to face him.

A small breath escaped her, and she spoke quietly. "It looks like he's sleeping…"

Kerry nodded. "He is."

"No, he's not. He's unconscious." Abby wasn't arguing, her tone was cold. 

"It's best if he's kept sedated, for now at least." 

Abby slowly moved around to the chair that Kerry had vacated, and to Susan's relief, she sat down, and took Carter's hand.

Susan visibly relaxed, but Kerry still didn't understand.

"We'll give you two some space." Susan gave Kerry a look that said _'I'll explain' and started to walk out. Kerry followed, leaving Abby to watch Carter sleep, alone._

**********************************

"So, where was she? What happened? You came into the waiting room in such a state that I-"

Susan cut her off. "She was on the roof." she toyed with the idea of lying to her, but felt that Kerry should know, so that there were two pairs of eyes watching over her, at least till Carter was well again.

"On the roof?" Kerry paused, reading Susan's face like a newspaper. "What happened up there?"

"She went up there to… When I got there she was leaning over the edge. She was going to throw herself over." 

Kerry put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, god…"

"She seems ok now, but I'm not sure how long it will last. We have to keep an eye on her, at least till Carter recovers."

Kerry nodded. "What about tonight? Visiting hours finish at six and only family can stay…"

"She's going to stay with me, at least till Carter comes home."

"Good. I think that's for the best. You think she'll be ok?" Kerry looked over Susan's shoulder through the glass into the ward. The curtain was still drawn around Carter's bed, though, so she couldn't see anything of him, or Abby.

"We'll just have to wait it out. And be there for her. I don't know what else we can do."

Kerry sighed. "Ok." 

Suddenly remembering, she flicked her wrist so she could read her watch.

"I should get downstairs."

"You're working today?" Susan looked shocked.

"Yeah. I'm on in 15 minutes"

"God, Kerry! Can't you get someone who actually made it home last night to cover for you? Luka, maybe, or-"

"It's ok, Susan. I'm fine."

"Really? 'Cause you look exhausted…" Susan twitched a smile.

Kerry made out that she had ignored her, but it was nice to have someone care. 

"Will you be ok up here? I can come back after my shift, if you like…"

"We'll be ok. Thanks for everything, Kerry."

"No problem. See you later." She turned to go, and then turned back.

"If you need anything – anything at all- I'm on the other end of the phone. Anytime, I'm never very far."

"Thanks, Kerry." Susan was sincere. They owed a lot to her, not least Carter's life.

Kerry dismissed her with her hands. "Don't-"

"No, really. Thank you." 

Kerry nodded. "I should… Um… Go to work now." And with that she disappeared into the elevator.

Susan turned to look through the window herself, and saw just what Kerry had seen. Nothing but shadows on a curtain. 

She rubbed her tired eyes, and yawned sleepily. 


	16. Wanted Chapter 16

**********************************

Abby barely noticed they were gone. 

Her eyes were staring at Carter's pale face, and she could see none of his spark. She could only hope that it would return when he woke up.

_When he woke up… What would become of them then? When he looked at her, would she see blame in his eyes forever? She shuddered at that thought. _

Would they be able to get past this? 

 So many questions, and the only way she could get answers was for Carter to wake up. 

"Come on, Carter…" she managed, in a broken whisper.

 "Please."

**********************************

"Excuse me, Ma'am?"

Susan whirled around and came face to face with a female Cop. She jumped back and placed her hand on her chest. 

"Sorry, Ma'am. Didn't mean to startle you." A few inches shorter than Susan, the similarly blonde woman nodded her apology. "You wouldn't happen to be-" She checked her notes. "-Abigail Lockhart, would you?"

"No. Susan Lewis. Abby's through there, but I'd rather you didn't bother her at the moment."

"Only I need to ask her a few questions about a shooting-"

"I know what it's about. I was there, for god's sake." Susan snapped, and then regretted it. "Sorry, it's just been a long night, that's all. I didn't mean to-"

"No sweat. Maybe we could go somewhere, and I could get your account of the shooting, and then I'll come back to talk to Miss Lockhart later on. Would that be ok?"

Susan thanked her with a smile. "That'll be fine, Detective…?"

The cop looked visibly embarrassed that she had forgotten to introduce herself.

"Johns, Ms Lewis. Detective Johns."

"Detective Johns. Ok, the lounge should be empty; we can go talk in there. Follow me."

**********************************

When Susan returned, with the detective in tow, almost three hours had passed. 

They had gotten coffee – or as Susan called it, a tainted mix of motor oil and rat poison – and talked about the shooting, for a while off the record, so that the detective could get the facts straight, and for longer on the record as Susan made a statement.

Now, it would be Abby's turn.

 Susan gently pushed through the doors, but the Detective had the sense to stay outside.

"Abby?" Susan placed her hand on Abby's shoulder, making her flinch. She turned, glancing up to see who it was.

"Susan." She turned back, barely acknowledging her friends presence. 

"There's a cop outside. She needs to ask you a few questions."

"Later."

Susan sighed, and crouched next to her so she could look her in the eye.

"Abby." She didn't take her eyes off Carter. 

"Abby. Listen to me. You want this guy in jail, right? You want him to pay for this…" As Abby slowly faced her, she gestured with a hand to Carter. "The one way you can be sure that he's never coming back is to put him in jail. Are you hearing me, Abby?"

Twenty minutes later, Abby, Susan and Detective Johns were sat around the table in the lounge. The detective was listening intently to Abby's account, and Susan was holding her hand, squeezing gently as she spoke.

"That's all I can remember… I'm sorry." She had only managed to recount snippets of the argument before Carter got shot. Most of it she had tried to block out, but some of it was still there when she closed her eyes. She picked up a glass of water in a trembling hand, and sipped. The cool liquid steadied her, somewhat. 

"It's ok, Miss Lockhart, really. You've had one hell of a night, I understand. It's important, though, that you try and remember as much as you can."

Abby shook her head, so her dark hair played about her troubled face. "I'm sorry. I've tried. I can't-"

"Ok. Well, we have enough to go on for now." The detective pulled a white card from her pocket and handed it over the table to Abby. "Here. I daresay the details will came back to you. Please, when they do, call me. I have to be getting back to the station." She stood up and pulled on her jacket. "I'm sorry, Miss Lockhart. I promise, we'll do all we can."

Abby nodded, and Susan stood up to show her out.

**********************************

Susan and Abby returned to Carter's side, and there they waited out the visiting hours, conversation sporadic and stilted. Abby just wanted to watch over Carter, but Susan's concern was for Abby.

"Are you hungry?"

"No." Abby shook her head.

"Thirsty, then?"

"I'm fine, Susan."

"Ok. You're sure?"

"Yes."

And so the silence descended again, till it was broken by an announcement over the Intercom, explaining that it was six o'clock, and that visiting hours were now over.

Susan stood up, stifled a yawn, and waited for Abby to follow her lead. When she didn't, Susan gently spoke.

"Abby, we have to go. We can stop by your apartment, if you like, pick up some bits?"

"What if something happens, while I'm gone?"

Susan sighed. "They have my number, and both Kerry and Elizabeth know that you're staying with me. They'll call if anything happens. You need to get some sleep. Come on, Abby, Let's go home." She moved around the bed and placed her hand on Abby's shoulder. "He'll be fine."

Abby stood, albeit reluctantly. Leaning down she kissed Carter's hand tenderly, then kissed his forehead.

Exhaling heavily, she gently placed his hand back on the bed, and allowed Susan to lead her away.

**********************************

Abby lay on her back, wide awake. Sleep seemed to have become so distant, even though she felt so tired. Sitting up, she rubbed her face, and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. 

Padding toward the kitchen through Susan's lounge, a large cabinet caught her gaze. Looking at it through blurry eyes, she knew exactly what it held. Silently walking over to it, her head told her to walk away now, to go back to bed, to stay away. But her body wasn't listening. She reached up and pulled open the door.

Inside were a few different bottles, cocktail mixers, and some glasses lined up on a shelf above. She selected a half empty bottle of vodka, and took a glass down from the shelf.

She was shaking as she poured, and she fought to hold the glass still. 

As she stood there, full glass in hand, staring into the clear liquid, all she could hear was Carter's voice, whispering over and over. "You want to go back to this?" She could hear his disappointment in her. If she drank this now, that's all she would ever hear. 

Her body wanted it so badly, though, and it tightened its grip on the glass. 

Her mind won out.

"I don't want this!" She lost control and the glass shattered in her hand, sending vodka and glass all over the floor.

She must have cried out, because Susan was at her side in an instant, sleep in her eyes.

"Abby?!? What…?"

"I broke your glass…" Abby said, staring at her shredded hand.

"My god, your hand…"

**********************************

It had been three days. Abby had barely left Carter's side. She arrived at the start of visiting hours, and Susan met her at the end. 

She always took up the same seat, and grasped his hand. Sometimes, when Susan came to pick her up after her shift, she would be asleep, hunched over, her head on Carter's hand. 

Susan knew that she wasn't getting any sleep during the nights, and often she found her in the mornings sitting beside the phone. 

"Abby? You been here all night?" Susan gently placed her hand on Abby's shoulder.

She flinched at Susan's touch, and looked up at her with tired eyes.

"I thought that if something happened, and they called then I could…" She looked across at the phone that sat on its cradle only a few feet away.

"You can't go on like this... It's been days since you got the decent kind of sleep. You're gonna burn out if you keep this up."

"I can't sleep, Susan. I physically can't. I lay there and all I can think about is Carter, laying somewhere else." She returned her gaze to Susan.

 "I'd take something, you know, to help me sleep? Only you don't seem to have anything. Kind of unusual, for a Doctor."

Susan looked away quickly. 

"In fact, there isn't anything in your medicine cabinet at all. Except for plasters and Indigestion tablets." Abby's voice was monotonous, but her eyes said it all.

She'd thrown everything out that first night back, after finding Abby, but she'd hoped that Abby wouldn't notice.

Susan sat herself next to her, and tried to look her in the eye. "Abby… I was worried that you might…"

"Try to kill myself? I know. I don't blame you. If it wasn't for you, I-"

She was cut off by the seemingly deafening ring of the phone. Susan got to it before Abby could.

"Hello?"

"Susan? It's Elizabeth."

"What's wrong?" Susan snapped.

Abby was pacing, biting the nails on her un-bandaged hand, but when she heard Susan ask that she froze. Susan caught the alarmed stare from those big brown eyes and regretted sounding so tense.

"Everything's fine." Elizabeth reassured Susan, from the other end of the phone line, and she visibly relaxed.

Susan nodded to Abby that everything was ok, and she exhaled slowly, attempting to calm her swift heart.

"Could you tell Abby that we started bringing Carter off his sedatives earlier this morning, and he should start coming around by this evening."

"That's great news. Of course I'll tell her. Did Kerry get hold of his family?"

"His Grandmother has been in a couple of times, but I gather his mother and father are out of the country."

"Ok. Well, I'm sure we'll see you later. Thanks, Elizabeth."

"Sure."

She hung up the phone and began to recount what Elizabeth had said, enjoying seeing Abby's face erupt into a grin when she explained about the sedatives.

"You ready to go a bit early?" 

Abby tilted her head questioningly. "Its two hours till visiting time, Susan, and at least three till your shift."

"Today is a good day. We should be able to get in a little early. You up for that?"

"Thanks, Susan. I'll just go change."

She disappeared into Susan's spare room, and Susan let out a heavy sigh. Maybe today would be the turning point. There was no way that Abby could go another few days like these.

**********************************

Abby felt Carter's fingers twitch under her own. She jumped up out of the chair, and leaned over him until her face was directly above his, studying it intently. With her other hand she stroked his cheek and hair, waiting and willing for him to open those big brown eyes she had missed for so long. 

Finally, he managed it, and she gasped with relief, then with joy.

"Hey, Carter… Missed you."

He managed a tiny feeble smile.

Abby hit the buzzer, and Elizabeth and a couple of nurses were there in an instant.

"What's wrong?" Elizabeth's face was intense, worried. Abby smiled at her and simply said "He's back."

Elizabeth moved quickly around and began to shine her pen-light in Carter's eyes.

Abby could barely contain her relief and her delight. She was back to smiling her broad trademark smile and her eyes shone. 

Elizabeth nodded to the nurses, "Get Dr Lewis and Dr Weaver, and call his family." and they left the three of them alone. 

"Carter, do you remember what happened?" Elizabeth had her stethoscope on Carter's chest.

Carter nodded. 

Elizabeth backed off, her exam done.

"You had to have surgery, to remove the bullets and repair the damage."

"Thank you." Carter managed, his throat dry.

"The bullet in your shoulder" Elizabeth continued, "caused some nerve and tendon damage. There's a chance that your use of that arm may be reduced. We'll have to wait and see."

Carter nodded again.

"You're on quite a high dose of pain meds, but we'll gradually reduce them as you recover. I'll be back to check on you soon." Elizabeth nodded, smiled, and disappeared, leaving Carter and Abby watching each other. 

Abby was watching him, looking for the answers to her questions; Carter was watching her, just because he could.

Finally, he broke the silence.

"How long was I out?"

"About four days."

"Wow."

Carter's eyes fell on her bandaged hand. "What happened? Did he get to you?" Carter was frantic.

She pulled her hand away, out of sight, and ashamedly muttered "I broke a glass, that's all."

"Oh." Carter met her eyes, and she met his. Hers began to sting with tears as she realised what she was seeing. There was no trace of blame, only the love that she knew so well.

Carter frowned a little at her expression. "Are you ok?"

"I missed you so much." She smiled at him, and blinked back the tears.

"I dreamt about you."

She giggled. "Really?" 

Just at that moment, Susan and Kerry came in, chatting excitedly amongst themselves. They reached Carter's bedside and beamed huge smiles at both Abby and Carter.

"Hey, Carter!" Susan bent down and hugged Carter, but Kerry just stood at the end of the bed grinning like a kid. "How're you feeling?"

"A little groggy, I guess."

Suddenly Susan and Kerry looked horrified. They looked at each other, then back to Carter. Kerry articulated their despair. "You need your rest. If you want us to go-"

"-No, Please, stay. Sit down." Carter managed a smile. "Tell me what's going on down in the ER."

**********************************

They didn't stay long. For a while, Carter and Abby sat in comfortable silence, glad to be once more together. Carter slipped in and out of sleep, the sedatives still having some effect. Then Elizabeth returned, did another check, made sure he wasn't in any pain, and then bustled out.

"Who's Bobby?" Abby almost whispered, anxiously reading Carter's face, checking for something, anything.

"Who told you about Bobby?" He frowned, and then added "Have my parents been in to visit? Did they say something to you about Bobby?"

"No, Carter, they're overseas. You told me about Bobby. You said he was sick."

Carter sighed, and nodded. "I didn't think they'd have come. Do they know? I should call them."

"Carter…" Abby squeezed his hand.

"Not now, Abby. Not here, hey?" The weariness really showed in Carter's voice now, and it had a waver that worried her. 

"Ok, Carter. It's ok." She paused. "Do you want me to get you the phone? Kerry tried but we didn't have a current number."

Carter relaxed, but didn't smile. Clearly the thought of talking to his parents wasn't appealing. "I'll do it some other time."

"Kerry left a ton of messages. They'll call sooner or later. Just concentrate on getting well enough to come home."

A thought dawned on Carter. "Are you at home on your own? Alone?"

"I'm staying with Susan."

"Good. Good. You haven't seen him again, have you?" If she'd said yes, Carter, weak as he was, would have been out of that bed in a second. She knew as much, and it felt warm and fuzzy to have someone love her so. She smiled.

"Abby?"

She shook herself out of it, and soon she had no warm fuzzy feeling, just that hollow fear. "No. The police are still looking for him." 

"Oh." Carter looked away from her to his other hand, lying in a sling on his chest. He tried to wiggle his fingers, but he couldn't. Pulling it from her grip, he used his other hand to squeeze his fingers, slowly, one by one.

"I can't feel-"

Abby tried to reassure him.

"It's ok. Elizabeth said it would take time…"

Carter just looked at her, his eyes distant; the next wave of pain meds seemed to be kicking in. 

"So tired." He murmured. "Dreaming."

"What about?" Abby humoured him, selfishly trying to keep him awake so he wouldn't close his big brown eyes.

 "Little girl… She looks like you."

His eyes closed despite her, but he kept talking.

"You're there too. It's sunny. It's nice."

"Sounds wonderful." Abby would give anything to be somewhere warm with Carter right now.

Carter was smiling. "She's our little girl, Abby. She's ours." He breathed a heavy, happy sigh, and drifted off to sleep.

She was ginning. Astonished, but grinning. A little girl. Their little girl. 

_Wow… _

**********************************


End file.
